Drunk in Love


Dear ZPR,
All my friends say that a guy I know likes me, but I don’t think he does. We are really good friends and spend a lot of time together, watching movies and doing homework at Brewed, but I think that if he liked me, he would just ask me out. Do you think I’m right, or does he really like me?
– Friendly Francesca Although you might think your weekly coffee and movie get-togethers are harmless, he very well may think otherwise. If you are just acquaintances with someone then it is possible to be strictly platonic because you don’t see/know them very well. But being acquaintances is much different from being good friends. Have you heard the common statistic of how often men think about sex? Well, its every six seconds! How many hours do you spend on your get-together’s again?
Even if you are in a relationship with someone else, you are not invulnerable to guys liking you. The fact that your friend isn’t bluntly demonstrating his romantic feelings for you now may be because he’s in it for the long haul and hoping you break up with your boyfriend.
Sometimes it’s difficult to see the true colors of a situation when it relates to your personal relationships (i.e. realizing your good man friend does indeed like you). If you wonder why he hasn’t just asked you out, it may be that in his mind he already has. He easily might conclude that watching movies or going to Brewed together has more than friendly implications, and the two of you are just taking it slow.
While you may think your movie sessions are completely harmless, he may be spending hours at the movie store trying to find a movie in which the best friends end up together or a scary movie from which he has the excuse to “keep you safe.” Maybe he asks you out to dinner to a nice College Avenue restaurant and proceeds to offer to hold you close on the walk back to “keep you warm.” While these statements of wanting to keep you safe or warm may be a nice gesture of friendship, they are instead likely deceptive implications of his real desire to keep embracing you all night.
As you can tell, I refute the idealistic idea of girls and guys being just friends. If you managed to get the tension out of the way by dating or hooking up, it might be possible to attain a platonic relationship. But in your case, complications are likely to come. Even if you think there is no way he has romantic feelings for you right now, he very well may be waiting for the right opportunity to confess his long-time love for you. If you’re still confused about his feelings for you, talk to your friends again. They’re probably right in their predictions anyway. But ask your girlfriends, not the guys, because they probably have feelings for you too.