Aries: How’s that karaoke job working out for you?
Taurus: We believe in you. Also, learn how to parallel park. Please.
Gemini: Children should be listened to even when they are 20 years old.
Cancer: You’re not just going to dissolve into hot water. We know and love you.
Leo: Culinary school looks good on you!
Virgo: Remember how awesome LUaroo was last year?
Libra: Got your nose! Ha ha ha.
Scorpio: I’m not going to tell you to calm down, but please calm down.
Sagittarius: Really? Him? I mean, okay!
Capricorn: 4 in the morning is not the time to live your best life. It’s the time to be asleep.
Aquarius: When are you going to visit?
Pisces: I miss you. How is New York?