What exactly is a Willem Villerius? A question some have tried but few to none have succeeded in answering. Can you boil it, mash it, put it in a stew? Can you buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it? Potato punk? Does it have a little car? Does it have a little star? I do not know, go ask your dad.
Can you bottle it? Will it bottle? Is it a sexy little someone? A heaping helping of nothing? Can you bop it? Twist it? Pull it? Pass it? Is it a timelord? A warlord? A shitlord? Is it back to the future, is it forward to the past? Is it the saint or the sinner, the body snatcher or the planet? Will it blend? Is it the question? Will time tell? Can you tell it to a T? We’ll just have to wait and see.
Is it a fine wine, an acquired taste? Is it behind the mask in a Scooby Doo mystery? Is it the Great Mystery? Is it man’s best friend, a Great Dane? Did it go? Is it Wendigo? Does it lash out on people like a cat o’ nine tails? Will it skulk and leave, be like a cat with nine lives? Does it let it be? Does it live and let live? Does it speak words of wisdom? Let it be.
If it’s magic. Is it magic? Is it chillin’ out maxin’, relaxin’ all cool? Is it a dress-up doll, a blow-up doll? A blown up doll that gets dressed? Like Mr. Potato Head but with flesh? Is it the snake in the tree? The knowledge of good or of evil? The snake in the trousers? The snake in the boot? Reach for the sky.
Is it the third child? Is it a third eye? Is it a third leg? The eye of the tiger? The Tiger King? Is it a prophet yet to come? Is it a profit yet to come? Is it dope? Is it the pope? Can it cope? Will it elope? Is it in the night kitchen? Does it lay in the morning dew? Will it spark a coup? Coup d’état or Tao of Pooh? Is it beauty? Is it the beast? Tale as old as time.
Song as old as rhyme. Does it feel fine? Is it baby? Is baby good to it? Does it tell it all the time? Does it say so? Is she in love with it? Does it feel fine? Does it push it? Does it push it real good? Does it push the boundaries? Does it come to push and shove? Will its hands soften while it does the dishes? Is it moist? Is it soaking in it? Is it Palmolive? Who is it beefing with? Is it the beef? It’s what’s for dinner.
Is it a snake-oil salesman? Is it a spinach-eating sailor man? Did it graduate top of it’s class in the Navy SEALs? Is it a seal hunter? Is it a traditionalist? Is it a revolutionary? Is it a faker, a phony or a fumbo? Is it a bum? Could it have been a contender? What does it have to contend with? Is it armed to the teeth? Is it teething? Is it strong-arming? Is it charming? Is it alarming how charming it feels? Is it loved? It feels pretty.
Something’s coming. Is it good? Can it wait? *phone jingles* Can it hold? *lounge music plays* …
What exactly is a Willem Villerius?