Just Give Up

Watson, Erin Campbell

I have been hanging out with this girl for a couple months, and I think she’s really great. How can I show her that I like her, and that I’m looking for more than a casual relationship? I accidentally hooked up with her after the Co-op party last weekend, because she was dressed as a circus animal, and her costume was so creative that I just couldn’t contain myself. I want to do something romantic to show her that I really enjoy spending time with her, so I was thinking of planning a date to a fine Appleton restaurant or perhaps cooking a meal for her in the Plantz kitchen …
-Clearly a freshmanAt this school, “doing something romantic” pretty much means letting her borrow your coat when she walks home in the morning. I did once hear of a guy who cooked a five-course meal for his beloved, but I think that was just an urban legend, because I’ve never met this guy, and I meet a lot of people, especially by accident. And if I ever did meet that guy, I’d kidnap his girlfriend and force him to make me a five-course meal before I gave her back. I can’t even think of five courses off the top of my head, and I attended Cotillion for three years where we had to eat tons of courses all the time, so I’d say if you really want to go on a date, you might as well just take yourself on one.
Fancy dates, however, are the clearest way to indicate commitment and demonstrate respect for your potential date. When I was little, I used to Irish dance, and before I could move on to the upper level, when you have to go to Ireland and get a custom-made dress, my mom told me to make sure I really wanted to keep Irish dancing for a long, long time. That is the advice I have for you, my friend. Make sure you want to keep Irish dancing for a really long time. Cooking a meal for her or paying for a romantic evening is a pretty clear sign that you’re looking for a commitment that is going to outlast the weekend, or at least the hangover.
But, because there is no gesture like the grand gesture, if this is truly the girl for you, I suggest you start small. Hell, during a recession like this, buying a girl a drink could get you to at least first base, as long as you don’t blow it by making your intentions too clear, so make sure you plan a couple casual hangouts before your grand gesture. That way, you’ll be able to judge exactly how much time you two are going to be able to spend together, and exactly how much you’re willing to invest in that time, because as a wise man once said, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Or at least for $1.50 during Viking Hour, but that kind of chivalry will have to wait until you’re older.