This article was published in the Mar. 22, 1957 issue of The Lawrentian by Lee Morrison.For those of you who are trying to bring a 3 point average down to a more socially acceptable level, and for those who are attempting to remain at a semi-socially acceptable college, this article is respectfully submitted by members of the graduating senior class who have become masters in the art of getting a C in a course. At the beginning of the semester take a seat in the front row if possible. Subsequent alphabetical arrangement will place you in a more comfortable position (but you know that old adage about first impressions!) The next requirement is the acquisition of the course text book or books. They may be begged, borrowed, or stolen, or charged to the book-store (paying the bill may often be postponed until late into the spring when it is time for the book to be returned). Whenever you attend class you must appear with the book. IMPORTANT: Do not read the book! It is merely a prop
CLASSROOM BEHAVIOR: The importance of staying awake at all times cannot be underestimated. Adverse inclinations may be compensated for by the use of various stimulants or the sharp elbows of your neighbor. During classroom lectures or discussions you must nod your head frequently and look straight into the professor’s eyes with great feigned comprehension. NOTE: This must not be overdone, for he may call on you, and to be betrayed by your mute, naked ignorance can be most embarrassing and often injurious! At the close of the period great care must be taken not to appear too eager to leave. Keep your notebook open and your pencil poised for approximately 45 seconds after the professor has finished. This delay may be quite unnerving at the time, but it will reap innumerable dividends.
CLASSROOM ATTENDANCE: This function may be varied according to the student’s individual taste, but the authors have found that one-half to two-thirds of the required time discounting Saturdays, is more than adequate.
NOTE-TAKING: In addition to the possession of a book it is necessary to have a well-thumbed notebook with you at all times. The importance of taking notes cannot be underestimated – this is the core of the maximum effort of each and every steadfast C student.
PERSONAL CONTACT WITH INSTRUCTOR: We have established before the importance of impressions. Therefore we have found it to be of the utmost necessity to keep in contact with your instructor. The purpose of these well-timed conferences is to establish a more understanding rapport between yourself and him. Always apologize humble for your previous class absences, and express a sincere desire to catch up with the work missed
TESTS: It is preassumed and undeniably valid knowledge that tests must never be cut. The only preparation necessary for these emotionally disturbing events is a brief surveillance of your class notes. Read them through, picking out one or two seemingly important themes, to which you are to correlate all remaining data. As college professor are inordinately fond of asking but one or two questions, the student is assured of a 40 to 50 percent credit for his flight into the unknown.
FINAL EXAMINATIONS: Approximately the same preparation is employed as is cited above, with the exception that the student should be prepared to be more fluent in the expression of these same elementary themes. This may be accomplished by the use of rewording, rephrasing, rearranging, bluntly restating, and the creative use of your innate imagination. This may be aided greatly by scanning your class notes while waiting in line for your examination and thinking up infinite numbers of synonyms. All previously stated procedure, in order to be effective must be accompanied by a poignant note at the conclusion of the exam. This should express appreciation of the instructor’s success in creating a completely comprehensive (brainwashing) test. If the entire method is strictly adhered to, this tried and true academic approach cannot fail but ear a nice, average, comfortable C.