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During Winter Break, despite the large variety of hot topics to choose from, I found myself amidst a heated debate with several extended family members about the importance of food categorization: someone at the dinner table asked if their hot dog was a sandwich. Glass was thrown, doors were slammed and family members were excommunicated. I am ashamed to say I fearfully did not partake in the debate, and I wish to remedy this.
No, a hotdog is not a sandwich.
Argument 1: Use Google. Look up the word “sandwich” and then click on Google Images. See if a hotdog pops up a single time after scrolling to the bottom of the feed. I’ll wait.
Argument 2: Dictionary definitions. Let us consult the Oxford English Dictionary as our main reference. The definition I found was made back in 1909, “An article of food for a light meal or snack, composed of two thin slices of bread […] with a savoury or other filling.” (There is admittedly a note at the end that there are rare occurrences of “open-face sandwiches,” but I think that’s stupid, so I’m not acknowledging that part. Who the hell would go up to a sandwich shop and say, “Hey, can I have an open-faced sandwich?” They’d laugh you off the street. And they most certainly would not think of giving you a hot dog.)
Argument 3: Just look at it. A hot dog involves cutting a slit into a bun and shoving a piece of sausage in there. You would not put hot dog meat in between two pieces of regular bread. It only works or even becomes remotely edible when placed in a bun in this slit fashion. The day we change the definition of sandwich to “meat placed within a slit of special bread,” then we can talk.
Argument 4: Day-to-day interactions. I am simply curious: have you ever once heard someone say, “I’m eating a sandwich” whilst eating a hotdog? I have yet to hear anyone casually call a hotdog a sandwich, and this includes people who were trying to make the argument that a hotdog falls into that category when the topic came up. The fact is, we call hot dogs “hot dogs.” We just don’t call hot dogs “sandwiches” whilst in everyday interactions. Our subconsciouses are hard at work to keep things simple, and here we are making life much more complicated.
Argument 5: The experts have made a case. Fun fact, there is such a thing as a National Hot Dog and Sausage Council. Don’t ask me what they do on the daily. But they did do one important thing. Their president, Eric Mittenthal, stated clear as day that a hot dog is not a sandwich. That settles it. The hot dog experts have spoken.
Let hot dogs be hot dogs. Let sandwiches be sandwiches. They may be cousins, but they aren’t twins.