Ramble on the roof: The perfect game room

Torrin Thatcher

As a college student, sometimes it’s difficult to watch the game. Yes, the game might actually be on television. Yes, you might be around friends. And yes, there might be some women there. But, I want to enjoy a game in the right environment with people who know what’s actually happening.
As it is playoff time in two sports and my viewing has been a little subpar, I have started with the blueprints of my future room that we shall call my Mecca. Assuming that this room won’t come to fruition for some time, I have time to make adjustments.
First let’s get all of the electronics out of the way. I don’t know too much about comparing plasma and LCD televisions, but let’s just say that once I do, it’s go big or go home. I’m thinking that 65 inches is going to be the ballpark range for the baby hanging on my wall. The other important spec would be to simply have the best sound possible. I have a few friends who are tech-savvy, so I’m sure they’ll help me out when the time comes. Let’s move onto the rest of the room.
I don’t know if it’s just the way I was raised, but I need hardwood floors. I’ve never been a fan of carpets covering the floor because stains just start to show up all over the place over time. I don’t want completely wooden floors; I’ll just have carpets that cushion my ping pong table, foosball table, pinball machine, vending machine, and an ‘actual size’ statue of a player to be named – that’s GM talk.
Every sports room needs a bar, and mine won’t be the exception to the rule. My bar’s top will be slightly different than the norm. Instead of the usual rectangular or round shape, mine will be similar to a baseball helmet from the side. You’ll see the earflap at the bottom and the bill on one side. The only difficulty will be deciding what to do with the ear hole. Ice buckets seem like the most reasonable choice. A condiment lazy Susan also seems like a nice idea.
The couches can arguably make or break this whole setup. I’ve always thought I wanted an L-shaped of large size, but then I realized two things: People may have to sit close to each other, and the ability to get up from the seat without disturbing others. When something exciting happens in the game, people don’t want to constrain themselves from thrashing about. By having individualized seating, people are able to jump for joy or angst and leave their seat without disturbing the weight equilibrium that would be present on the L-shaped couch. So, my room calls for many individual recliners – and maybe a pillow to nap with during halftime.
What about a table? My table, to be placed around the individualized seating arrangement, will need a few things of the utmost importance. The first will be a glass top so that spills – from bouts of excitement – are easy to clean. Secondly, due to possible spills, I will incorporate a moat that surrounds my table. If soda spills and the ice melts in the middle of the third quarter, it’s no big deal because we’ll just push it into the moat to deal with later. Also, wings on the edge of the table will be necessary. One never knows how many people are going to show up for a game, so a table of multiple lengths is quite important.
If the number of people is low, simply fold those bad boys down, and it won’t be a problem. Under my glass casing will be my collection of baseball and football cards collected throughout the years. Is that a Rick Ankiel rookie card? Yes, yes it is.
Lastly, the walls of my room will consist of custom paint jobs that resemble some of the greatest moments in my sports lifetime: Reggie’s three sacks, Favre’s MVPs, Bucky Badger with some roses, Ray Allen knocking down threes, and Bernie Brewer sliding into the “where the hell did it go” mug, etc.
Will my room be used solely for watching sports? No. It can be used for movie viewing as well under one condition: If someone talks during the movie they’ll receive a fine and possible suspension, be forced to do community work and submit a public apology to all those they offended. Just like sports.