Alex Bunke

Fall term is well underway. Classes are starting to get boring, the novelty of Hurvis Crossing is wearing off, Plantz Hall is collapsing under the weight of its residents’ bigotry, and girls can barely wait to don their Sarah Palin costumes before descending into various and sundry fraternity basements Oct. 31.
In short, it’s business as usual at Lawrence University. But wait. You’ve noticed something is missing. Things seem a bit … off.
“Travis Fondow’s pants?” asked Erin Campbell Watson hopefully. Perhaps. But, no.
It’s quite simple, actually. That “something missing” is me, Alexander Bunke. Seriously, look around Downer at 5 p.m. on any given day of the week. You will not find me. Poke your head into Kohler Hall, I dare you. The lack of my presence will startle you.
Now, normally at this point I’d launch into a thoughtful and witty description of my current location, and my reasons for being at said location. The truth is I’ve spent more time crafting that introduction than I’d ever want to spend writing the rest of this utterly pointless editorial.
In closing, Lawrence students as Harry Potter characters.
Georgi Petrov = Viktor Krum
Nikko Benson = Barty Crouch, Jr.
Charlotte King = Hermione
Spencer Neitzel = Severus Snape
Anna Hainze = Ginny Weasley
Jem Herron = Lucius Malfoy
Sam Flood = Albus Dumbledore
Nora Taylor = Voldemort
James Antony = Sirius Black
Aneesh Chauhan = Colin Creevy (petrified)
Brune Macary = Fleur Delacour (Because they’re both French, duh.)
Lacey Jo Benter = Minerva McGonagall
Hesper Juhnke = Professor Trelawney
Mads Vijay = Harry’s patronus
Andrew Penning = Hagrid