***headlines***

Corin Howland

Facebook forgotten about
Archeology department digs its own grave
Sage Steve has a great idea
Mudd Gallery introduces hammering to third
Rob Neilson tours with Rolling Stones
Better than Ezra comes to Appleton; Guster sucks
Fred Sturm sells out…Stansbury
Mark Jenike, Joe D’Uva bare all in “Men of the ACM” edition of Playgirl
Dintenfass can’t figure out why he always needs lozenges
Vetinde gives an A
Barrett published in poetry.com anthology
Downer somehow no longer sucks
Rope children: How ’bout them rope children?
Beta residents shocked to be wearing same J. Crew outfits
Grill goes weightless with floating furniture
Smoking Halo immediately makes smoking cooler
Dell forgets to check security messages for a week; ten dead
Hiett hallways free of bodily fluids for a record-breaking eight days
Greenfire accidentally composts own member
TLF table at Co-Op actually loses money
Union’s Raiden Fighters machine eats quarter; Elliot DuPois’s skeleton finally discovered
‘At-risk’ student given Flanagan’s gift certificate
Cupola tour decidedly underwhelming
Final Four game missed as DGs hold “O.C.” party
Sculpture west of Wriston finally understood, noticed
Rozanski given special invite to etiquette dinner
Career Center session proves fruitful, demoralizing
Bjorklunden trashed, burnt down during “Environmental Sustenance” weekend
Student expelled from Bjorklunden after a hair is found in bathtub
The Grits win American Idol singoff
Warch reference lost on confused freshman
Alger draws supply curve about own excitement level
Napoleon Dynamite references out; Office Space, back in
A delicious meal, Chef Bob, and the disappearance of the Rope Children
LCF rallies to reinsert Goldgar feeding tube

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