Lucinda’s offers 3 meals a day, classes -dlh

Lyn Hagee, director of Food Services, announced last month that Lucy’s would begin offering breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day of the week, and would also offer any class desired by a resident of Colman Hall. The announcement came after the great success of the Lucy’s dinners offered last November.
Since this announcement, the size of the Lawrence student body seems to have been instantly reduced by 130 people. It appears that now that Colman offers everything needed by a college student, Colman residents just aren’t leaving the building.
“I used to have 16 people in my Freshman Studies class,” said Kohler resident Susan Meyer. “Now it’s just me and some stoner kid from Plantz. How am I supposed to have a meaningful discussion about ‘The Way’ with a guy spends the whole class period turning things into bongs?”
The effect of this dramatic change is being felt outside the classroom as well. The crew team, especially, has been feeling the effects of this change. Women’s crew member Anna Hollinger comments, “I used to be in a full boat, eight people. Now there are just three people left in my boat. All we can do is row in circles.”
But Colman residents aren’t the only ones staying holed up inside the residence hall. Hiett resident Robert Ryan has been missing since Hagee first made her announcement. His roommate, Ben Weston, pleads, “Yeah, we put up missing persons posters and everything, but there’s still no sign of Rob. We suspect he is living in the second floor lounge of Colman, but we just don’t know. Please, if anyone sees Robert Ryan, call me right away.”
There appears to be no solution in sight to this situation. Dean of Students Nancy Truesdell is loathe to overturn Lyn Hagee’s decision, as it is expected that Colman residents will riot. “We don’t want another Attica on our hands,” said Truesdell.

Top