Sports in the real world

Torrin Thatcher

As a sports fan, I’d like to think that we, as a population, are a helpful people. We come to the aid of people in need — whether that be strangers, friends or family. I’d like to give you some of the instances in my life where my love of sports has helped another.
Some time back, I got a text message from a friend who was out at the bar with some friends — it asked where Randy Moss went to college. At first thought, I had to ponder what this question was actually asking. Did my friend want to know all the colleges Moss attended, or just where he played football? Should I call and tell him that he went to Notre Dame, Florida State and Marshall, or should I simply state Marshall?
I assumed the latter, and called my friend back to inform him that he played for the Thundering Herd in their last season at Division I-AA. Moss was let go from Notre Dame and Florida State for multiple reasons, and he played close to home at a Division I-AA so he wouldn’t have to sit out a year for transferring. My friend thanked me for the phone call and continued to drink his frosted beverages.
As my sister and I were heading to the illustrious Downer Commons to grab a bite, my phone let me know someone was wishing to contact me. It was a friend who hadn’t called me in some time, so I figured it was important. He cut to the chase right away and needed to know the five most recent guards that have come out of the University of Arizona now playing in the NBA. I thought for a moment and gave him the names Hassan Adams, Salim Stoudamire, Marcus Williams, Mustafa Shakur, and Andre Iguodola. I proceeded to give him the NBA teams they’re on so he could peek at their rosters to verify. I asked my friend why he needed me, and it was simple. A friend of his at school considered himself a sports buff, and my friend needed to prove to this guy that he doesn’t compare to yours truly. He said he appreciated my brain and left to go to baseball practice.
The “name game” is an ever popular way to kill time for a fan. The game is simple: You have to link the last letter in a name to the first letter in another name. An example would be Devin Harris to Steve Smith. Before each game starts, you must set the rules. These can involve active or retired players, coaches, lifelines and passes, and they can determine which sports are involved. You get the idea.
Anyway, as I was hanging out one night with some guys and watching ESPN, one of them let me know that when he played the game during his summer job I was his lifeline. This guy was no sports slouch himself, so it meant a lot to hear from him that I would have been his savior if he was facing elimination. He never did make that phone call, but it let me know that he respected my mind and not just my body.
Also, us sports fans are here to help you save money. This past weekend, I was at Scheels with my girlfriend looking around my sports mecca. We were making our way through the array of jerseys when I saw a woman run up to her husband with two Bear jerseys; she excitedly told him that they used to be $100 but now were down to $35. I took a few steps over to her and cast my words of wisdom upon her. I calmly and confidently told her that the player is no longer with the Bears and that Muhsin Muhammad is now playing for the Carolina Panthers, which provides the reason for the price slash of his jersey. She listened to what I had to say, and thanked me, because her sons would have been very disappointed in her. I walked away with some rapper’s delight, and my girlfriend was obviously proud of her man.
What do I want you to take away from this? Watch as much sports as you can! People can watch “How I Met Your Mother” or “Heroes” online the next day. Any sport takes priority over scripted television. Sports are real, shows are fake; simple as that.

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