Q: What longtime Cleveland Indians and Boston Red Sox player, a hilariously-named center fielder now with the Oakland A’s, was arrested Wednesday morning under suspicion of driving while intoxicated?
A: Coco Crisp … who, according to Twitter, started his day with a root canal and ended it under arrest. Though Crisp’s actual first name is Covelli, he has gone by the nickname “Coco” since he was a small child. Crisp now joins Milton Bradley on the list of misbehaving players with funny names, though neither Crisp nor Bradley will ever top Philadelphia’s Antonio Bastardo for sheer name-related hilarity.
Q: Paraguayan soccer player Luis Moreno, a defender for Colombia’s Deportivo Pereira, has been suspended after an incident in which he did … what?
A: He kicked an owl. After the opposing team’s unofficial mascot, a live barn owl, accidentally flew onto the field and was knocked down by a soccer ball, Moreno trotted over to the still-groggy bird and kicked it into the air. Fans for Atlético Junior chanted “Murderer!” at him, but Moreno insists that he was not trying to hurt the bird, instead claiming that he “did it to see if it would fly.” The owl, which suffered a broken leg in last Sunday’s initial attack, died of shock Tuesday after spending 30 hours in critical condition.