Some drinks are sexy: the Cosmopolitan (here’s to “Sex and the City”) and the Velvet Hammer.
Some drinks are delicious: Agent Orange, Almond Joy, German Chocolate Cake.
And some drinks are hard to take: Assisted Suicide, Vulcan Death Probe, Liquid Cocaine No. 4.
Like drinks, bartenders come in all varieties. They are diverse in age and academic specialty. They come from all corners of campus just to serve you in Lawrence’s unpretentious and faithful bar. Here are a few more profiles of the people who keep the Viking Room humming.
Name: Dave Stultz
Favorite Drink: Toss-up between Gin and Tonic (Bombay) and a Sloe Comfortable Screw.
Funniest bartending-related experience: “One time, in Honduras, I was down and out trying to get back on my feet doing the old three-card monte scam in the back corners of a dive. After I had taken all the old men drinking tequila for all they had, the proprietor of the place, a big man standing at about 6′ 5″, picks me up out of my chair with a single hand, and turns me upside down, shaking out all of my ill-gotten proceeds. I said I was sorry, and he gave me a whiskey sour on the house.”
Sage advice from behind the bar: “Never, ever, under ANY circumstances, ask for a Sledgehammer – a very painful drink indeed.”
Name: Heather Prochnow
Year and Major: Junior, biology major/Spanish minor
Favorite Drink: Amaretto Sours and Rolling Rock Green Light
Funniest experience at the VR: “Pretty much anything related to Ben Dictus is hilarious.”
Sage advice from behind the bar: “If customers are obnoxious, be obnoxious back! Also, the drunker you get, the more fun we have.”
Name: Michelle Fitzpatrick
Year and Major: Senior, government major
Favorite Drink: Colorado Bulldog
Funniest experience at the VR: Reunion weekend any year
Sage advice from behind the bar: “It’s not my problem, and think before you drink. Also, if you’re not 21, stay the $#&% out of my bar!