That hardnosed mayo dispensor

benjamin.j.dictus@lawrence.edu

Harder, Harder, Ahhh there we go.What is the difference between a good sandwich and a great sandwich? It is actually quite obvious; a great sandwich has mayonnaise and a good one doesn’t. Pretty simple isn’t it; you want a great sandwich you throw on a little mayo. Well, it isn’t that simple these days, at least not in the B-line dining area.
Here is the scenario; your at downer and looking to make one hell of a sandwich, you select the bread and meats of your choice, maybe some greens or what not and then you go to throw on some mayo, but lo and behold, that damn mayo dispenser in the B line room won’t budge. It has happened to most of us and will continue to happen unless action is taken. We have to let authorities know that this aggression will not stand, man. I am personally sick and tired of having to lean into that mayo machine with all I have to get a tiny little squirt. Sophomore, Willis Rand, almost threw out his wrist when he miscalculated how much pressure to apply for his mayo. Near accidents like this could be avoided if the machine was well oiled. A good mayo dispenser should be a smooth ride to sandwich heaven, not a wrist workout from hell.
What can be done you ask? Many things could be done, but what it really needs is some tender care and attention. One day with a qualified individual and it will be back in working order. I only hope that something is done before someone really gets hurt. Chances are it won’t though, but at least now you know what you’re getting into. Just be prepared to work for your mayo, and work hard.

Ben Dictus

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