Romance According to Kate

Kate Ostler

Dear Kate,
I recently started dating someone but we each have separate groups of friends. How can we fit both groups together?
-Torn Between TwoDear Torn,
Although the goal of our liberal arts education is to experience a wide range of academic subjects, we’re often hesitant to apply the same principal to our specific groups of friends. At one time or another, surely all of us have been reluctant to meet new people. Your group of friends is no exception. Make it clear to your pals that your new romantic relationship doesn’t suggest or imply that you want a break from your cronies, or that they’ll be seeing you less frequently. Keep in mind that it’s impossible to please everyone, and that some of your friends may not be interested in hanging out with any of your boyfriend or girlfriend’s buddies. Although you may have found romantic success, your friends and your significant other’s friends may not be so compatible. Try hosting a party or inviting everyone out for a fun night. Remember that people don’t generally become good friends overnight, and it may seem slow going at first. If you don’t have any success, at least be happy to know that you can take a break from your boyfriend or girlfriend for a while and hang out with the group of people who know you best.

Dear Kate,
I’m usually pretty unlucky in love. In fact, I’m lucky to get any action at all. How can I hide this fact from the ladies, so as to facilitate their desires to be with me?
-Unlucky but Underappreciated

Dear Unlucky,
The majority of campus is still single, and essentially just as “unlucky” as you claim to be. Don’t feel that your lack of experience or a scarcity of previous relationships deems you unlucky or any worse off then the average Lawrence student. You shouldn’t be wasting your time trying to manipulate others into thinking you’re someone you aren’t. Any deceit or dishonesty now will likely cause confusion or mistrust down the road. There’s no reason to hide or disguise anything from potential lady-suitors, and doing so will likely be detrimental to making a real connection with someone who could otherwise be your perfect match. Does “unlucky in love” imply that you’re lucky in other areas? I bet you’ve got plenty of other attributes that make you attractive to the ladies. Bring your talents and quirks to the forefront and don’t worry about any action you have – or haven’t – gotten in the past.

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