Romance according to Kate

Ostler, Kate

Dear Kate,
Does size matter?
-Miffed about my ManhoodDear Miffed,
You’ve posed the most clichd, inconsequential question of them all. However, there are many interesting
sides to this story. In ancient Greece, the male body was frequently displayed, usually in the buff. The Greeks held naked athletic competitions,
created nude sculptures, and even fought wars sans clothing. Back then, big penises were considered grotesque and barbaric, often associated
with primitive beasts. These days, there are plenty of theories about size and splendor. Everyone’s heard the “shoe size” comparison, and there’s even a hypothesis claiming
that the distance from the tip of a man’s thumb to the tip of his index finger correlates to the length of his penis. Perhaps more important
than size, should be why it matters. Whether you’ve got a Pez dispenser beneath your belt, or a full pocket’s worth of candy down there, any partner who considers this a determinate factor in your relationship is undoubtedly shallow and doesn’t deserve your attention in the first place.
Dear Kate,
I’ve been seeing someone on campus,
but I don’t think I’d like to keep the relationship going. I’m worried that I’m only involved because I’m afraid of being alone and fearful that otherwise, I won’t have another social outlet. What can I do?
-Anxious About Being Alone
Dear Anxious,
So often we hear stories about “college sweethearts” or sexy student
flings that seem to paint the collegiate lifestyle as one in which romance and dating are as prominent
and prevalent as term papers or final exams. The reality is that most of us will leave here holding in our arms textbooks and grad-school applications, instead of fiancs or significant others. Keep in mind that there is a difference between being “lonely” and being “alone.” Being lonely can be really tough, especially when it seems like everyone else has got someone to lean on. But it can be overcome! Stake out a good spot to people-watch on the first floor of the Mudd library. Even if you’re sitting alone, this will surely make you feel like you’re in the middle of the biggest social gathering on campus, or it will at least provide a source of entertainment at everyone craftily flirting while pretending to read or finish problem sets. Get a big group of friends together to share a table in Downer, or join a campus organization to meet new people, but don’t lead your girl/boyfriend on just because you’re worried you won’t meet anyone else – we’re all worried.

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