Your Birthday Today
Community Engaged Learning
takes on a whole new meaning
for you as townies flood your upper-level Spanish classes and
critique your accent.Aries
March 21 – April 19
Attendance at an ORC party leaves you feeling crushed and breathless. Get out of there before the friction of people rubbing against each other starts a fire.

April 20 – May 20
Don’t beat yourself up for not getting a tan over spring break like all the cool kids did. Get a buzz-cut to draw attention away from your pasty skin.

May 21 – June 21
Stay away from the new condiments bar in Downer, unless you like recycled newspaper ads.

June 22 – July 22
Make an appointment to see your advisor this week. Your time together will be borderline fruitful.

July 23 – August 22
You can spend as much time in a practice room as you like, but be warned that sunlight deficiency can cause rickets, mushroom-like paleness, and a tendency to blink rapidly.

August 23 – September 22
Vent your frustration on the Push-n-Go doors of the Science atrium. It may not be satisfying, but it’ll get you in less trouble than vandalizing Hiett would.

September 23 – October 23
Be prepared to receive an anonymous magazine collage with a cryptic caption through campus mail.

October 24 – November 21
Take time to walk along the river and collect your thoughts on life, love and riverbugs.

November 22 – December 21
Moments after turning in a homework assignment, you’ll realize that you forgot to reaffirm the honor code and Pat Breese will send you a letter expressing mild disapproval.

December 22 – January 19
Between your hitting snooze and returning to bed for the fifth time, your roommate will send a pointy object flying towards your head.

January 20 – February 18
Early to bed, early to rise permanently crosses your eyes.

February 19 – March 20
In the quest for understanding, you trip over Rik Warch’s body in dimly lit hallway.