WE ARE UNDER CONSTRUCTION - DON'T MIND THE DUST!

Love, Indubitably

James Eric Prichard

Dear Dr. Eric,
I have been dating the same girl since we were seniors in high school. Now we are juniors, and I have never stopped loving her with all of my heart. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. My question is, should I ask her to marry me now or should I wait until after graduation? On one hand, I am confident that I am making the right decision, so I don’t want to wait, but I also feel as if it might be too early.
– “Charlie”Dear Charlie,
You need to take a step back. At this moment, millions of men across America are wishing that they were not married. Every time they look at their credit card bills, nubile secretaries, or kids, they ask the same question: Why the hell did I get married? You will eventually ask this question, and your answer will be that you were a stupid college student who thought that he was in love. Do your future self a favor, and drop the marriage thoughts. Better yet, drop the girl.
You have dated one girl since you worked at Burger King to save money for prom. What makes you think that you can make an informed decision about marriage? Even if you had more experience, your desire to marry would still be problematic. Getting married is the second biggest mistake that you could make, slightly worse than asking someone to marry you. The only action that could bring more trouble would be impregnating a girl.
Being married means that you have less freedom, less money, less time, and fewer friends. As a college student who wants to get married, you are probably already lacking in all of those categories. You should only marry if you want to turn into the lamest person you know.

Dear Dr. Eric,
My boyfriend and I are going to get married. Should we have the ceremony in my hometown, so that my sick grandmother can attend, or at the Boynton Chapel, which would be more romantic?
– Confused in Colman

Dear Confused,
I am ashamed that we attend the same college.

Dr. James Eric Prichard holds many terminal degrees in various fields from institutions around the globe. He is a recognized expert in love, life and cognitive robotics. You can send your questions to lawrentian@lawrence.edu.