The following story is satire. All events and characters are fictional. As eighth week draws to a close, almost everyone at Lawrence University is exhausted. Students can be found dropping to the floor around campus to take sporadic, well-needed naps. Some staff and faculty members have said that they no longer feel comfortable driving home…
Lore-ence: Student Speculate on Campus Cryptid
The following story is satire. All events and characters are fictional. On Monday night, a roar shook Lawrence University. Students all over campus were perplexed by the noise and turned to each other to try and determine the source. Some speculated that it was a dying bear. Others believed that it was a whale traveling…
Lore-ence: Lawrence introduces new show: “Warch Watch”
Students are stressed as ever as week five of Winter Term draws to a close. Lawrence University has acknowledged this stress and has vowed to do what it takes to aid students in this trying time. The main, and only, thing that was proposed at an emergency meeting was a new show called “Warch Watch.”…
Lore-ence: Experiment in the Commons
The following story is satire. All events and characters are fictional. Research Methods I in the psychology department is making its 2020 debut this winter. In this class, students are required to form groups to further their goals in the class. In these groups, students devise a research question, then a hypothesis and finally an…
Lore-ence: “Airbnb to fund Lawrentians’ dreams”
The following story is satire. All events and characters are fictional. In recent years, Lawrence University has bought an alarming number of cardboard cutouts. From President Burstein to Papa Smurf, there are cardboard cutouts all over campus. This has become increasingly unsustainable. Lawrence is struggling to keep up with the costs and the demand, especially…
Lore-ence: “Vegetarianism Addressed in Convocation”
The following story is satire. All events and characters are fictional. One of the best parts about attending Lawrence University is the frequency in which we bring speakers to our stage to enlighten our students. Students are allowed to suggest convocation speakers, which gives us the freedom to bring in speakers that we find relevant.…
Lore-ence: Secret Menu
Everyone who frequents the Café knows that the options eventually get tiresome. One can only do so many build-a-bowl options before their palate screams for something new. And ever since Lawrence implemented a “no outside food on campus” rule, Bon Appetit has become king. One can only dream of Toppers pizza or Taste of Thai.…
Lore-ence: Senior Mayhem Day
With only one week left before finals, Lawrence students are buzzing with excitement. At the peak of excitement are this year’s graduating class as they prepare to move forward with their lives. There are many celebrations and traditions that happen during the term before the big farewell and Lawrence University, as an ever-evolving school, is…