Author Archives: Simone Levy

Horoscopes: The Signs as Antidepressants

Aries (March 21 – April 19) –  citalopram  Taurus (April 20 – May 20) –  bupropion  Gemini (May 21 – June 20) –  trazodone  Cancer (June 21 – July 22) –  levomilnacipran  Leo (July 23 – August 22) – sertraline  Virgo (August 23 – September 22) –  vilazodone  Libra (September 23 – October 22) – 

On the Cusp of Enlightenment

Dear Simone,  What do you order at a make-your-own poké bowl restaurant?  Best, Bono Dear Bono,  I’m so glad you asked me this question. In order to avoid confusion at the restaurant and to minimize the amount of human interaction, I hand the employee my order on a note card. My order is as follows: 

Horoscopes

The Signs as Caro Granner Lyrics Aries (Mar. 21 – Apr. 19) – “Heard the tree tops screaming out, ‘If you can’t love her, leave her’” Taurus (Apr. 20 –  May 20) –  “So maybe I’ll drop out, or maybe I’ll find God” Gemini (May 21 – Jun. 20) – “Teach me to be patient,

Horoscopes

The signs as styles of lighting Aries (Mar. 21 – Apr. 19) – wall sconce Taurus (Apr. 20 – May 20) – bathroom chandelier  Gemini (May 21 – Jun. 20) – traffic light Cancer (Jun. 21 – Jul. 22) – crystal chandelier Leo (Jul. 23 – Aug. 22) – string lights Virgo (Aug. 23 –

On the Cusp of Enlightenment: An Advice Column

Looking for answers? In need of advice from a Taurus-sun, Virgo-moon, Gemini-rising? Think you can stump me? Email Simone at simone.a.levy@lawrence.edu with your own questions and you just might be featured in next week’s column. Dear Simone,  Can you explain types of faults and boundaries, geologically speaking?  Signed, Dave Matthews  Dear Dave,  I’ll do my

Horoscopes

The Signs as Characters in Monster High   Aries (March 21 – April 19) – Clawdeen Wolf Taurus (April 20 – May 20) – Ghoulia Yelps Gemini (May 21 – June 20) – Abbey Bominable Cancer (June 21 – July 22) – Lagoona Blue Leo (July 23 – August 22) – Frankie Stein Virgo (Aug.

Horoscopes

The signs as street names in Street, MD Aries (March 21 – April 19) – Highland Road Taurus (April 20 – May 20) – Cherry Hill Road Gemini (May 21 – June 20) – Holy Cross Road Cancer (June 21 – July 22) – Rocks Road Leo (July 23 – August 22) – St. Clair

Horoscopes

The Signs as Oldsmobiles  Aries (March 21 – April 19) — 2004 Oldsmobile Alero  Taurus (April 20 – May 20) — 1992 Oldmobile Toronado Gemini (May 21 – June 20) — 1999 Oldsmobile Cutlass Cancer (June 21 – July 22) — 1974 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Leo (July 23 – August 22) — 1992 Oldsmobile Achieva 

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