Tag Archives: april fools’ issue

President Burstein’s Back, Baby

President Burstein’s Back, Baby

Actual photo of Burstein’s sick tat. Photo by YMCA lifeguard President Mark Burstein was recently spotted sporting some new ink on his lower back. The 22-year-old president of Lawrence University was seen lounging poolside at the local Appleton YMCA this past Tuesday. The President was accompanied by his ever-present detail of armed guards. Witnesses report

A Compendium of Famous Lawrentians

Lawrence University attracts a whole host of colorful characters, from Nefarious Betty, the campus trickster, to Flinty Flynn, the delightful vagrant behind Plantz. But did you know that, since its establishment in 739 A.D., Lawrence has hosted a number of famous alumni as well? It has! And we have listed them here. Matthew McConaughey ‘75:

World News

Compiled by Alex “Claire Zimmerman” Dahl The Vatican The Vatican declared war on Switzerland. The Pope was quoted saying, “I’m tired of them rubbing their watches, banks, chocolates and knives in our face.” Leader of Switzerland, Alain Berset, replied, “Bring it on little boy.” Poland Denver, Colo., was hit by three consecutive typhoons. Loss of