Tag Archives: luther abel

Viking Room reopens patio seating to on-campus students

Viking Room reopens patio seating to on-campus students

Customers wait while bartenders prepare drinks at the Viking Room’s newly reopened bar. Photo by Pei Robins. Shuttered since the end of Winter Term 2020, the doors to the Viking Room — Lawrence’s bar and social meeting place — were thrown open to student patronage on May 12. Fourteen months have passed since the last

What in the World: A response to the Editor-in-Chief

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What in the World: Fight for fifteen’s folly

The recent push on campus to make the minimum wage $15 is well-intentioned but misguided. It may not shock the good readers of The Lawrentian that I would be of this opinion, seeing as I’m purportedly a conservative shill for capitalism. This is undeniably true — the “I Heart the Koch Brothers” t-shirt in my dresser proves it — but I’m here to win hearts and minds for my corporate overlords, not rain on good-hearted folks’ parade. Thus, I’ll refrain from wailing,

What in the World: The Left’s infatuation with Harry Potter

The Progressive Left adores Harry Potter, analogizing nigh endlessly from the books and it is easy to see why. Open-carrying deadly weapons, a select subset of children attend a highly traditional and successful private school with barely a speck of government oversight. These lucky few inhabit an exceptional realm cut off from the rest of the world by a physical wall, lest those from the outside wish to share in the benefits of a magical society.

The Prius: An icon of conservatism

Commuters are rarely provided wondrous vistas during their daily drives, and this day was no exception. At the red-light on the corner of Wisconsin and Bluemound roads, adjacent to the Fleet Farm but just short of making out the Kwik Trip gas station, a traveler has little recourse but to observe the vehicles surrounding them to pass the time. After all, a red light stays red longer if you watch it, or so grandmothers are apt to say.

What in the World: In defense of decaf coffee

There are few substances on Earth more maligned than decaffeinated coffee, and I cannot understand why. Decaf is hot, it is brown and it tastes like milquetoast regular coffee. None of these three characteristics seem worthy of remark, let alone opprobrium, from the masses. But search the wide world of memes — grant you mostly of the Boomer variety — and one would think that decaf was personally responsible for: the dissolution of Vine, the live-action depiction of “Eragon” and the invasions of Poland over the last 800 years.

What in the World: The perfect reading nook

The perfect reading nook exists, I am sure of it. I am sure of it because I have experienced this nirvana personally, and, let me tell you, it feels as if one is supping from the very cup used during the Last Supper — provided you choose the correct chalice, of course. While many have explored this path before, searching for superiority in literary comfort, and found naught but personal ruin and destruction, the recipe for peak hard- or soft-cover consumption is quite simple. One only needs a plush wingback chair, a warm fire, a crossing of one’s legs just so and a purring cat upon the lap or a snoozing dog upon the feet.

What in the World: Utopic Joe

By the time you read this column, Joe Biden will presumably have been sworn in as the 46th president of these United States. Simultaneously, Trump will begin retirement in Florida doing what retired presidents do: getting sweetheart book deals, speaking to sycophantic groups for hundreds of thousands of dollars and golfing. For the latter, his