I dare not tell a soul how I love my Lord For they would mistake my devotion for desire They’re placing bets and keeping score For no harlot can escape the sinners’ fire To him I am pledged until the earth claims my bones I follow his path like a sailor chasing stars I am naked of all pretenses for him alone But they’ll never know a love as pure as ours I could never lie with my Lord as a lover For I shan’t sully such a body divine with my mortal touch Yet what words can capture a feeling above all others? Father, brother, friend—none have I adored so much I taste his body as sacrament, but never in lust I crave naught but healing from those hands I trust How I pity these fools who doubt his pious lips And see only sin in our companionship He sheltered me in gracious robes and rapped the fingers they pointed He offered mercy where they threw stones and embraced the body they exploited In his companions, I arouse a hundred questions They fear I’ve turned a good man weak By my womb and bosom, they define our connection As if flesh is all a wench may seek A hundred moons ago, their whispers might’ve brought me pride But they know nothing of their leader, for mankind is his only bride These hands that heal the world cannot bear a husband’s ring There can be no beloved for the man who loves all things Dear Father, I need salvation from my savior For my love is so fierce it has turned to fear I would endure their stones again if only for his favor I would join him on the cross only to keep him near I would offer my body in his place So no pain would cross his gentle face If he knew how he wounds me, I know he would weep But my sorrow cannot thwart a devotion so deep His brothers will flee at the first spill of his blood As he solemnly bears his final duty Yet I will stand unmoving, a cairn in the flood For I cannot tear my eyes from his beauty When his heart expires, I shall dig him a home Where he may rest far from the cruelty of our cursed kind I shall guard his tomb from these heathens of Rome As he once guarded me from my tormented mind And when he returns at last, I’ll be first in line To catch his soul as he once caught mine