It happens every year, does it not? You get excited for all the amazing stuff coming out, and then it comes in a deluge, a wave of media most people who do not work with the stuff for a living never get through. How to know what is good, bad and what is not even worth bothering with. Thankfully, I have done this to let you know how to sort through the absolute tidal wave of 2015’s pop culture. Here is the only commentary on the books, films, music, games, memes and comics of 2015 you will ever need.
Best Fake Article: Ms. Piggy’s rant about her and Kermit’s divorce on Jezebel
Best Thing Nobody Expected to be as Amazing as it Was: “Mad Max Fury Road”
Best Thing Made Under Even Worse Circumstances Than “Mad Max:” “Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain”
Best Movie You Can Never Show Your Parents Unless They Are Super Chill: “The Duke of Burgundy”
Best Scene in a Movie that Made Me Actively Fearful for My Life: The Dance in “Ex Machina”
Best Movie Saved from the Ravages of Time by Janus Films: “A Poem is a Naked Person”
Best Rap Beef That Was Actually the Worst Rap Beef: Drake vs. Meek Mill
Best Rap Beef That We Will Never Know the Details of Really Because We Do not Get Nice Things: Kendrick Lamar vs. Drake
Best Twist We Cannot Talk About Because Man, You Have to Go in Cold, Do not Let Anyone Tell You Anything: “Assassination Classroom” Chapter 128
Best Forced Meme: The “Hotline Bling” video
Best Actual Meme: The Dress
Best Argument the Apocalypse Would Be Super: “Fallout 4”
Best Person Working Their Issues Out: Sufjan Stevens
Best Person Pretending They Do not Have Issues When They Actually Do: New York Times columnist David Brooks
Best Pen Name of the Year: Cartoonist Chip Zdarsky—aka Steve Murray—temporarily referring to himself as “A Shed Full of Car Keys”
Best Comeback That Was Ruined by Agreeing to Be the Lead in an Animated Film Called “Sherlock Gnomes” that comes out this year: Johnny Depp in “Black Mass”
Best Hatchet Job: Pitchfork’s review of Tyga’s “The Gold Album”
Best Album That Somehow Became a Hit Because Who Even Listens to Jazz Anymore: “The Epic” by Kamasi Washington
Best “It Really is That Good”: The Broadway musical “Hamilton”
Best Twitter Account: Vince Staples
Best True Crime Sensation That Is Sweeping the Nation: “The Jinx”
Best Snapchat Story: ScHoolboy Q in southern France
Best Parody of the True Crime Sensations That Are Sweeping the Nation: “Documentary Now,” episode 4, “The Eye Doesn’t Lie”
Best Disappointment To Everything Ever: Three way tie between “Trainwreck,” “The Force Awakens,” and “A Little Life” by Hanya Yanagihara
Best Surprise That Bought Back the Good Times: “The Vision #1” by Tom King
Best Thing Nobody Expected Given Turnaround Time, Seriously He Could not Have Had More Than Six Months How Did He Do It: “Slade House” by David Mitchell
Best Absolutely Everything: “The Complete Stories” by Clarice Lispector