Lawrentian Gothic “The Great Escape”

It’s about time for Halloween when you realize that you don’t have a costume. You want to take advantage of the best holiday, and you need an amazing costume in order to accomplish that. What better holiday is there than one where you go around and beg strangers for free food? After all, that is the college experience, one way or another.

So you set out to find a great costume. Going online is no help at all, however. All the results that pop up are costumes aren’t exactly your taste. While you may want to be a sexy Angry Bird, there’s a part of you that holds you back. Listen to your intuition. You don’t need a sexy cartoon bird costume. Stop that.

Instead of dressing sexily, you now think to other, scarier options. Your mind flits to the idea of missed calls from your parents, student loans, the future and the unknown. However, you don’t know how to embody any of these things. Your spirits sink as you realize that Halloween is drawing near and you most likely won’t have a costume that will blow people away.

You share your concern with your friends, who all come forward with the same problem. There are no clear options. An idea pops into your head and you excitedly share. Your friends agree with your idea and start buying supplies.

Halloween rolls around and you’re all dressed in your last minute costumes. Stapled to your shirts are your resumes, focusing on all your Lawrence extracurriculars. Each of you are wearing a medal reflecting how busy each of you are. You are wearing a bronze medal because you’re only in five extracurriculars. Your tall friend is wearing silver for being a president of a club, participating in 4 other clubs and volunteering every weekend. Your last friend is vibrating from their third cup of coffee today. They have a gold medal due to their double major, double minor, studying abroad two terms, presidential status of three clubs and three jobs. Hats off to them. They won the Lawrence Olympics.

You decide to take your new costumes out on the town. You start trick or treating, but, unfortunately, an entire block of houses has been vacated. What a trick that is. You try the next block, which is more fruitful. You receive five slabs of unidentifiable meat, two erasers, a box of raisins and Whoppers. You are angry about the Whoppers. Why would anyone give out Whoppers, the worst candy? You fume while pouring the entire box of raisins into your mouth.

The next block makes you feel uneasy. You feel as if all eyes are on you and your two friends. People start to creep from their homes, wielding torches and pitchforks. They are coming for you. They know you are Lawrence Students. “How dare you exist,” they chant. You run, knowing there will be safety in the dorms of Lawrence. You hope there will be some candy somewhere on campus as you feel a flame brush past your skin. Happy Halloween.

 

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