Okay hear me out okay. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I wasn’t supposed to be like this, okay? Right? Right. It just happened it happened and oh god. What are we going to do how are we gonna come back from this. It won’t be like before. It won’t be starting over in a new land with hopes and dreams this is bleak. So so dark and lost. Such a lost feeling. A wondering an aching. This aching for what used to be. For how things used to be. For a chance of how things could have been. There aren’t any foundations to grip our boots into there is no structure to follow only chaos. Only what we’ve left ourselves in our frantic panic and disregard. And me? I. Well I was the worst of them wasn’t I? I held on, didn’t I? I held on to the hope and wishes and the wants and the “it’ll be okay”s and all the other sweet nothings and outright lies. I lied. I LIED. To you to your mom to your dad to your aunt uncle grandpa grandma cousin sister brother. I am here when I should not be. Why am I here? Why do I get to be here.? With what I’ve done…. Oh, what I have done. It’s quite right. I must sit here. I must be here. I have to watch. It wants me to watch. I’ve lost people, too. I am alone, at my own fault. I am desolate. I am speaking to noone, and no one has ever listened before, no one will ever listen again. I am despair unparalleled. I have been terrible, quite terrible. I have been
I have to go
It’s here for me now
It’s true what they say: it is the thing you never expect.