Fly on the Wall “Desire”



Not today. Not today. Why? Whywhywhy? It’s not fair. No seventeen-year-old – no human –should have to deal with this.


Maybe if you ignore it, it will go away. Maybe, for some reason, this time it will work.

Gordon, Gordon, Gordon.

Ignore it. Don’t give in. Do not give in. This does not need to be you. You can make it out of this. Just. ignore. it.

Gordongordon – gordongordongordon

Don’t do it. Do not. No acknowledgement. It will go away. Just keep quiet. Don’t open your mouth. Keep it closed. Keep it – “What?!”

Hungry, Gordon.

Failure. How could you? You don’t want it to go away, do you? “Not my problem.”

Hungry, Gordon.

“I DON’T CARE!” But you spoke anyway. Just a little bit longer, and you could have been free.

Silence. Don’t hope. Hope is dangerous. Just breathe through it. It could be over. It could be –

But, Gordon.

Jesus. Of course not. Of. course. not. “No.”


Deep breath. Deeper. It will be okay. You can get rid of it. This is temporary.

I am hungry, Gordon.

Temporary. “Fine! Fine!” You’re condemning yourself. “Just don’t – don’t freaking come near me.”

Okay, Gordon.

You shove away from the desk. Homework half done, as always. Inch across the far wall, eyes on it the entire time. This is not forever. This is not –

Thank you, Gordon.

You should have known. It lunges forward, and you have just enough time to dive out of the room before it can cross the floor. You slam the door shut and pull the lock across. The door rattles but stays shut. You sag against the wall, adrenaline rushing and ears ringing and hands shaking and legs jelly.

The door stills. You slide to the ground. Silence ensues.

A moment.

Sorry, Gordon.

No it’s not. Don’t respond. You can get the work from someone else. Don’t open the door. Do not respond.


Leave. You need to leave. If you just leave, this will no longer be you. An escape. Get out of there.

Soorrryyyyy, Gordon.

Get. out. of. there.