Horoscope: The signs as Berries

Aries (March 21 – April 19) — goji berries: holistic medicine is fake.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20) — cranberries: do you have to let it linger?

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) — gooseberries: wannabe grape.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) — lingonberries: you grocery shop at IKEA.

Leo (July 23 – August 22) — blackberries: only good when smashed into a jam.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22) — strawberries: absolutely stunning.

Libra (September 23 – October 22) — acai berries: Brookstone

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) — chokeberries: you thrive in wet woods and swamps.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) — mulberries: you are very resistant to ringworm.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) — elderberries: sometimes you’re constipated, and that’s okay.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) — black currants: time for your daily Kir Royale.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20) — persimmons: can’t even believe this is a berry.

 

Authors

Related posts

Top