Horoscopes: The signs as iconic phases of my life

Aries (March 21 – April 19) – My Olympics phase, still ongoing. 

Taurus (April 20 – May 20) – 2015 depressed Pinegrove phase. 

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) – 10th grade sitting outside in the winter alone reading Stephen King.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) – Maybe I will be a florist. 

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22) – Wearing Minnie Mouse ears for four months in third grade until they broke, and I cried for three days. 

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) – Simone the nail art guru.

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) – 12th grade: bringing Diet Coke in a sippy cup to school every morning.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) – pre-2006-ish before I went to speech therapy. 

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) – Guinea pig phase consisting of me working at a guinea pig shelter and spending every waking hour studying cavies. 

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19) – The “I’m running away from home” phase where I hiked around in the woods by my house until I got bored and went back inside. 

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) – Poetry phase in 2014 when I thought I was Anne Sexton.

Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20) – Soap cutting phase — still ongoing. Follow @wecutsoaps on Instagram. 

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