Lore-ence: Student Speculate on Campus Cryptid

The following story is satire. All events and characters are fictional.

On Monday night, a roar shook Lawrence University. Students all over campus were perplexed by the noise and turned to each other to try and determine the source. Some speculated that it was a dying bear. Others believed that it was a whale traveling along the Fox River. Some argued that the world was finally ending. However, a consensus was never reached on what exactly could have produced such a raucous sound. The only agreement that students could reach was that the sound must have come from a cryptid.

Humanities majors can attest to an unusual presence on campus. Recently, tremors have been shaking Briggs Hall, disrupting classes. The tremors have reached Steitz and Youngchild Halls as well, but to a lesser degree. However, the seismic activity has been large enough to disrupt some psychics related projects by interfering with predetermined calculations. The physics department is equally as furious as the disciplines based out of Briggs Hall. The seismic activity has become bad enough that the Center for Academic Success has decided to move out of the first floor of Briggs Hall and move to the second floor of the library. They feel that students will be more successful if the building is not trembling all the time. 

The cryptid has been heard and felt on campus, but there have been very few reported sightings of this campus beast. Some think that it is shy and prefers to hide behind Briggs. It is possible that someone is holding the cryptid captive in the garage in the Wellness Center,and its anger is to blame for all the noise and stomping around lately. A few students have claimed to have seen it, but there is no way to verify if they are telling the truth or not. One student described it as a formless trench coat with what seems to be a bunch of bees inside. This is possible, considering there is a beehive near the outside of Briggs Hall. Another described it as a sasquatch-like beast, which could potentially explain the roaring and shaking.

Regardless of the way the creature looks, students still feel uneasy about the recent happenings. With a beast roaming campus capable of producing such loud sounds, students are nervous about walking across campus at night. Ostensibly skeptical faculty have assured students that everything is fine, but still offhandedly advise students to avoid walking behind Briggs at night. Campus safety could not be reached for commentary, which has led some to believe that they know something that others do not. 

It is unclear what has been causing the tremors and roars lately. Lawrence University wouldn’t be Lawrence University without some mystery and intrigue. Some things are not meant to be entirely understood. Whether it is just a prank played on the school or a bear relocating to the city to start anew, it’s something exciting enough to take our minds off of the stress that midterms bring our school. While we all hope to catch a glimpse of this terrible beast, we also must be willing to accept it as another great unknown.