In my geometry class during my sophomore year of high school, there was a girl who wore a bunch of rings on like … all of her fingers. It was probably the equivalent to wearing a pair of brass knuckles, and that’s pretty cool if you ask me. I admired the ability to wear rings so much because, every time I tried to, I would immediately get annoyed and slide ‘em right off my fingers. Despite this original disdain for the jewelry, I decided that I wanted to venture into a life where I am comfortable with rings on my fingers. So, I sucked it up and decided to make my first ring purchase. Today, I will be guiding you all through my ring collections — the stories, what they look like, where they’re from and many more fun quirky details about each ring I own.
The first ring I ever got my hands on, no pun intended, was a knock-off Cartier ring from a local farmers market on the morning of prom. Now, I’m not sure why I remember that day so well, it was gloomy, I remember the ring costing a lot and I remember that I smelled like spray tan! A nice smell if you ask me. Anyway, I digress. I still have the ring! I usually lose a lot of my teeny tiny pieces of jewelry, so that’s a pretty big dub for me. Now, something I need to be honest about is that I have beefy fingers. Yes, it’s a little embarrassing, but after 20 years, it’s something I’ve learned to be prideful of. I don’t think they’re necessarily bigger than the average finger, but they sure do love to get rings stuck on them. There’s truly nothing more humbling than getting a ring stuck on your finger and watching the person selling it to you struggle on how to help — that’s something I think everyone should experience. Maybe. Nonetheless, I wear about a size seven to nine, which is pretty normal. However, with such large sizes of phalange comes a less fruitful selection of rings. C’est la vie!
The next set of rings I want to introduce you all to are my silverware rings! What? Silverware rings, you say? Yes! I do say! There’s a little quaint stand in the Appleton Farmers Market that sells the most indestructible, cutest, reusable rings I’ve ever seen. It’s like if a cockroach was a ring because they can last through anything. Except, I feel like cockroaches have a rough reputation, and these rings are cool, so, in this instance, let’s pretend that cockroaches are cool. I’ve got one made out of an old fork and a spoon, I mean, how cool is that? You could probably run them over with a car, and they would still be fully intact. These rings also serve as a good shield if you get your hand stuck in a door, which I have learned from personal experience. Lastly, it’s cool to wear a recycled item as a piece of jewelry, I wonder what type of pasta was eaten with this ring? Who initially bought this silverware? Do people even buy silverware that’s not from Ikea? Was it a hand-me-down that was given away? So many questions in such a tiny piece of jewelry.
Next, I have a flashy, large, emerald ring that is definitely one of my favorites. Like, remember on the T-mobile commercials in 2008, there was a function called the “fav-5” where you could pick five contacts as your favorites? This ring would be in my fav five. Going on, my mother bought me this ring in Appleton, Wisconsin! Yay! Go Wisconsin, am I right? Anyway, this ring has a tear-dropped shape emerald encased in a rustic silver encasement, and it is show-stopping. I mean, this ring is so beautiful! Unfortunately, I had another ring similar to it, but it broke, and I never found the stone after that. Alas, the emerald ring gets to carry out the other ring’s memory.
I cannot lie to my loyal fashion fanatics, sometimes these rings get a little annoying. I mean they can be clunky and distract from writing, or be too tight, too loose, turn your fingers green, and so many other things. However, truly loving something means being able to acknowledge the defects of it. Maybe that’s a little too deep while talking about rings, but, hey, it’s the little things that count.