Your Beauty Makes a Traitor of Me

Falling in love with you was the easy part. How could anyone look into the depths of those fathomless brown eyes and feel anything but pure adoration? How could anyone hear the cashmere warmth of your voice and not curl into a contented ball of affection? How could anyone watch you move with the effortless grace of an acrobat and not imagine how it might feel to embrace a body as flawless as yours? 

No, I was never afraid of falling in love with you. But I was afraid that admitting my love for you would permanently damage a piece of my identity I could never repair. 

I’ve always known who I am, and I’ve fought to keep that girl alive despite society’s best efforts to destroy her. For six years I’ve raged against tyranny in cropped hair and a man’s armor, screaming my battle cry at any creature that dares to challenge my freedom. But one glance from you makes me long to throw down my axe and denounce my kingdom’s creed. Your elegance unravels the threads that stitch my soul together. Your beauty makes a traitor of me. 

Thankfully, I know my treason will never be more than a collection of idle thoughts, for I will never be your lover in a thousand lifetimes. Your heart was promised to another long before I first fell under your spell, and you will cherish your beloved long after I have vanished from your life, oblivious to the storm you have awakened in me. I am safe not because my walls are strong enough to protect me from your forces, but because I know you will never bring your armies across my threshold. 

I will lower my visor and remain loyal to my kingdom. But I’ll spend forever fearing that if you had approached my fortress, I would’ve opened the gates without a second thought.