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Happy New Year, Lawrentians! As we shake off the dust of 2023 and hang up our new calendars (or reopen our Outlook calendars for the first time after the ridiculously long Lawrence winter break), many of us seek a variety of fresh starts: things like saving money, signing up for gym memberships and spending less time on social media. But this year, I have only one goal: embracing a messy life.
For the past two years, I’ve started each term with a series of detailed plans for “getting my life together” more than the previous term, setting myself up for a frustrating ten-week game of catchup. But as I look back on the experiences that have led me to the best opportunities of my life so far, I’ve found far more development in my most intense struggles than periods that passed with no major difficulties. My greatest growth came during spring term of my sophomore year, when I hit one challenge after another for weeks on end. Despite my best attempts at maintaining color-coded calendars and goal worksheets, my life was held together with duct tape and prayers. It wasn’t until I reached a relatively uneventful period during the summer when I realized how much progress I had made during that semester from hell.
When we set resolutions centered around linear progress, we imagine that we will find our higher selves when we reach a perfect state of peace. But we do not emerge from chaos into a state of perfection; we are constantly evolving in both positive and negative aspects. Our experiences regularly birth new strengths and weaknesses, setting us up for the next hurdle.
For me, happiness relies on two things: filling my time with things I love and learning to approach the rest with a positive yet realistic mindset. Over the past few months, I’ve curated large portions of my life into sources of joy: building a circle of supportive friends, distancing myself from people who don’t bring me joy, seeking opportunities to work with awesome organizations and leaving spaces that cause more stress than reward. Deep-cleaning my life has helped me feel passionate and excited for each week ahead, even on extremely busy days. However, it’s impossible to eradicate all sources of frustration in my life, and waiting for a utopian future free of stress is an unrealistic ideal that only feeds dissatisfaction.
It’s also futile to minimize the magnitude of our struggles. Life is a series of experiences that demand action and reaction, and pretending to be unaffected by these barriers makes it impossible to tear them down – you can’t break down a wall if you refuse to acknowledge its existence. Instead, acknowledging the severity of the issue in front of me helps me determine the best approach to overcome it. There is no magical formula for conquering all hardships, but I’ve personally found that the first step to finding any degree of happiness is realizing that happiness is a constant force that coexists with suffering, rather than an enlightened state where all struggles are defeated. Tiny pebbles of joy are scattered around every corner of the world amidst all the daily chaos of life, and the best thing we can do is pick them up when we see them.