Brown Sugar: For Your Consideration

There’s a reason The Rolling Stones wrote “Brown sugar, how come you taste so good?” The stuff is perfection. Imagine a bonfire with all of your best friends out in the middle of the woods on a chilly (but not too chilly) fall evening. You have fuzzy scarves on, hats knit by your grandmothers and gloves that fit just right. Your sweaters aren’t itchy, your feet aren’t sweaty. The fire is just big enough and just warm enough. Everyone has their drinks of preference. The stars are bright. You notice five shooting stars. All is well in the world.

This is what brown sugar is like. All those warm and fuzzy feelings get crystallized by magic happy-scientists, add a bit of molasses and a pinch of love, perhaps a hug or two, put it at a bag and voila: perfection. Don’t buy it? Check it. There was an actual smear campaign against brown sugar during the late 1800s by the newly consolidated refined white sugar industry. They were so afraid of the success and popularity of brown sugar that they found pictures of a completely harmless microbe that sometimes could be found in the product, blew up the picture and spread it around to scare people away from this glorious food product. This campaign was so full of disinformation that soon people were writing in their cook books that this “inferior, dirty” sugar was to be avoided at all costs. Now, thanks to modern science and a better understanding of microbes, brown sugar is back and better than ever.

I first fell in love with brown sugar when I would bake or cook with my mom. Nothing compares to the smell when you open a fresh bag. I remember I would see those beautiful little crystallized clumps in the bag and sneak my little hand in to grab them and pop them in my mouth before my mom could see. Although I will never admit it, there is a very good chance that I still do that to this day. Don’t tell my mom.

If you happen to have brown sugar in your domicile and don’t know how to use it, don’t fear, Expert Emma is here to help you unlock its full potential. Got some squash? Brown sugar is the way to go. Don’t like squash? Definitely use brown sugar, lots of it and trust me, you’ll like it. When your brain is telling you to be healthy, but you stomach says sweet, cook some carrots and add butter and brown sugar. Cookies? Brown sugar. Gingerbread men? Brown sugar. Got a gingerbread house to go with those gingerbread men? Brown sugar makes excellent roofing tile texture or dirt for your candy landscaping needs. Lips feeling dry and cracked? Get some honey, cinnamon, and, you guessed it, brown sugar, scrub it on there, wash it off, lick your lips and you’re ready to roll—or kiss somebody.

If I haven’t convinced you any of you about the magically scrumptious properties of brown sugar, fear not. Here’s the kicker: brown sugar actually has less calories than your normal white sugar! Not only that, the molasses in it adds calcium, magnesium, potassium and iron. There’s no excuse. So please, join me in enjoying the greatest “fall food” of all time. Eat your squash, carrots and cookies, and go to that beautiful bonfire in your mind.

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