Your stomach rumbles for the satisfaction of a box of freshly processed mac and cheese. You look in the corner store and marvel at the prices. It is charged by the noodle. You would do the math to understand how many noodles there are, but you are too tired.
The only maps can be found in Blue Moon Emporium segmented into small buttons. You desperately try to piece them together, but you soon discover it is not possible. You want to buy those buttons. You want to buy the truth. But instead, you buy a button with a hedgehog on it. The truth can wait for another day.
You walk down College Avenue. You try to take a side street. Upon reaching the end of the street you realize you are once again on College Avenue. You cannot escape the culture of Appleton. Do not resist. Enjoy.
Many have talked about the prospect of the local bus for an afternoon escape, but there have also been warnings. Do not get on the bus. Do not get on the bus unless you are willing to become one with the nineties. The seats with colorful, geometric patterns can sense fear. They prey upon the hipsters. Have you taken a polaroid picture recently? How thick are the rims on your glasses? Are you safe? You decide not to risk it.
You go to Plantz to take the shuttle. 6:30 PM they say. At the aforementioned time, the lot fills with shuttles. Which one is it? No one knows. At 6:32 PM, they have all departed and you have missed your chance.
All you wanted was some reasonably priced mac and cheese from Target.
Desperate for your pasta, you go to the corner store and you are tempted to buy $1,000 worth of mac and cheese. The crate is as big as your bed. If basements can be filled with sand, why can’t your dorm be filled with mac and cheese? What is adulthood without the power to buy excessive amounts of cheese and pasta? You eye the crate and wonder how you would get it into your dorm. Nothing seems too insane anymore. You are desperate.
The lady at the counter watches you with dead eyes. She has seen this all before. She has seen all.
With incredible willpower, you give up and buy only one box of mac and cheese. It all comes back to this. It always does. Enjoy the individually priced noodles.
