There is one thing that all Lawrence students dread. Exams and applications are stressful, sure, but if you ask any Lawrence student their opinion on river bug season, and they will offer a revolted response. Universally hated, the river bugs are hearty insects that live to breed for a few days before dying, forming massive swarms for weeks. In those few weeks, they cover every inch of campus and cause students a great amount of discomfort as they traipse through swarms. Additionally, they have decimated school spirit by obstructing Main Hall’s cupola from view. However, Lawrence University has come up with a plan to get rid of these bugs which will benefit students and lower the school’s budget: use the bugs as food.
Lawrence plans to send their facility services team out in the early morning to collect as many bugs as possible. From there, the bugs will be taken to the cafeteria, where some of the bugs will be used as faux meat in nuggets while the rest will be dried and ground into a fine powder as a protein supplement.
This project won Lawrence’s student sustainability grant, which provided enough money to buy supplies and research new recipes. The sustainability coordinator believes that implementing the change will not only make our campus more beautiful but also improve students’ health by adding more protein to everyone’s diet. It is believed that the river bugs will replace 20% of the protein in Bon Appétit meals, saving the campus big bucks and reducing livestock waste. It is uncertain if Bon Appétit will list the bugs as an ingredient in their food, or if they will try to sneak in these additional nutrients—like your mom used to do by slipping spinach into your brownies. It happened whether you liked it or not.
Campus facility services are ready whenever the bugs begin to swarm. From there, all the power is in Bon Appétit’s hands.
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