Horoscopes: The signs as types of egg-laying animals

Aries: echidna – why are you like this?

Taurus: sea turtle – forbidden underwater omelette. 

Gemini: quail – a little extra but still valid and loved. 

Cancer: Komodo dragon – okay, fun fact: Komodo dragon eggs are grapefruit-sized. 

Leo: rabbit – okay, not actually an egg-layer, but it’s thematic. 

Virgo: platypus – now it’s time to get funky. To the left. 

Libra: chicken – yummy egg. 

Scorpio: no offense, but you had to see this coming. Snake. 

Sagittarius: spotted gecko – don’t lose your tail over something stupid. 

Capricorn: bald eagle – an Appletonian icon. You smell like fish. 

Aquarius: owl – the owl lays its 4-6 small white eggs in a soft bed of owl pellets. Nests are used for many generations. Generation-old owl pellets cradling precious owl eggs. 

Pisces: lovebird – needs companionship and attention but also not too much attention.