On the Cusp of Enlightenment: An Advice Column

Looking for answers? In need of advice from a Taurus-sun, Virgo-moon, Gemini-rising? Think you can stump me? Email Simone at simone.a.levy@lawrence.edu with your own questions and you just might be featured in next week’s column.

Dear Simone, 

Have you ever had any really weird and long dreams that come out of nowhere? I have been having some super weird and extremely long dreams lately. The weird thing is that I have been remembering them in extreme detail, which is not usual for me. And the fact that they are so long is concerning. Can you share one of your long and detailed dreams so I do not feel so alone? 

Signed, Big Dreams 

Dear Big,

I had a long dream recently that I would be happy to recount to you. 

I decided I wanted to ski at Alpental for the day by myself. So I drove my metallic orange Subaru — I do not own a metallic orange Subaru, just to clarify — up to Alpental and hid a bottle of vodka under my jacket, because apparently it is okay to get drunk driving up to Alpental and while you are skiing too. I got to the parking lot there and it was super foggy, so I did not park very well, but I parked right next to the highway and there was a sidewalk in between the car and the highway. So, I got all my ski stuff ready and it took me a little while but then the bus came so I got my gear together to get on the bus. The bus up to the mountain was a school bus but it was empty on the inside — no seats or anything — except for a group of young people standing in the middle. I realized they were doing cocaine and drinking alcohol. They were being really nice to me and even offered me some, but I declined. Then they were like, “Hey, you should come with us to Etta’s!” and I said, “I’m not 21, I’m sorry!” which is weird because Etta’s is just a restaurant and I definitely went there when I lived in Seattle and was not 21. They were sad I could not go to Etta’s with them, and they kept being super nice to me. One of them had this new way of doing cocaine where she put the powder directly onto her tongue and put a lighter under her cupped tongue, as if her tongue were the spoon of heroin that you hold over the candle flame. She said it hurt a little but not too badly because she did not keep it there long. Everyone was amazed by that. They were drinking beers too. I told the one woman I had vodka and would be fine and she was glad that I was drinking. The drive up to the mountain was all switchbacks and there was a car in front of us that was a truck. Somehow, I got an aerial view at this point. The truck had a Green Bay Packers license plate and the driver of our bus was like, “This idiot doesn’t know how to drive!” Because of the truck, our bus was really slowed down, but finally we passed the truck and got to the base of Alpental, which was Everest-tall. I was still with the people who were doing cocaine and drinking because they were really nice. 

The base of the mountain was kind of like the base of Grouse Mountain at Beaver Creek where there is the Birds of Prey and Larkspur lifts converging. There were also some tree trails that were super bumpy. At this point, I left the cocaine people and got on a lift by myself. I set all my stuff down on the lift and was kind of chilly. The lift ended abruptly and my flip flops fell off as I was getting off, which is especially weird because you do not wear flip flops to ski. So I was standing in the snow without any shoes, and I asked the lift operator for my shoes back. Then my dad showed up and said that if I skied down this run, I would make it to Winter Park, but I decided against doing that. Then we went on a lift together and my grandma and grandpa were with us, which is especially weird since they are deceased. I was trying to sit down in between my grandpa and my dad, but I did not quite get on the lift and was hanging precariously off the lift. My dad was trying to help me up on the lift, but could not. He told my grandpa to help, but he did not, and instead went off on this rant about how horrible of a granddaughter I was and how I lied to him and how I was never good to him and never told him the truth. My dad was getting angry at him and meanwhile, my grandma was comatose. Finally, I managed to get myself on the lift fully. So then we skied down the run and made it to the bottom. We took the bus to the car and Dad told me I did a bad job parking and I told him it was because it was foggy and dark out when I got there. So then I gave him the keys, but he freaked out. He yelled at me, saying, “Simone you lost the bear” because apparently there was a bear keychain on his keys that I had lost somehow. He made me go up on the bus with him again. And Juliet, my sister, and my Mom stayed by the car to wait for us, which was weird because they were not there to begin with. But, I really did not lose the bear because there never was one. But I went back up with dad anyways. I do not remember what happened on that bus ride. So, I was essentially drunk driving and drunk skiing all day and my whole family was there. 

So, that was one of my longer dreams, and it really freaked me out at the beginning. But I suggest writing it all down. After I wrote this whole dream down, I felt a lot less freaked out by it all. Everyone has crazy and long dreams, and sometimes you wonder how these crazy thoughts even manifest in your head. But this happens to everyone, and the crazy things that your brain comes up with are not a reflection of your character. 

Signed, Simone

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