A strange yet intriguing phenomenon at my high school was the obsession with Lululemon athletic wear, despite someone being, well, athletic or not. Now, like cool, man, wear whatever you want. But, these leggings, yoga pants, jackets and shirts ranged from $80 to $200. Now, given that I went to a, some may say, toxic high school, I definitely fell prey to these peculiar obsessions. However, it is important to give credit where credit is due. These leggings made awkward, poofy-haired, brace-face, sophomore-year-me feel like a million bucks. Although, I literally was not athletic. I was on the bowling team my first two years of high school, and then I decided to do theatre — not much physical activity there. I suppose if a jazz square is considered a workout, then we can count that. Even so, despite the magical greatness of these grossly over-priced leggings, were they really that great for working out?
So, like most of everyone in the world, I decided to take up some hobbies while I was quarantined at home, one of those being running. I started to “run,” and I use that word lightly, at the beginning of Sept. of 2020. By run, I mean gallop like an estranged horse for one stretch of sidewalk and then heave on the side of the street while my snooty neighbors shut their blinds. Or, at least, it seemed that way. I decided, since I stopped wearing the Lululemon leggings as religiously as I would have in high school, I’ll break em out now that I‘m actually being athletic. As I kept running, I was able to put on the miles and exceed much faster than I thought, however, I constantly felt myself pulling up my leggings. HUH? So, you mean to tell me that I spent a kings-ransom on a pair of fabric to simply have them avalanche down my legs as I run? Funny, possibly the funniest joke I’ve ever heard.
I was furious yet quite humbled by the realization that sometimes thousands of high-school girls can obsess over leggings that are absolutely not good for the function they were made to serve. However, maybe this is more of me being anatomically misshapen in the most polite way. I bought a pair of leggings from Amazon at the beginning of quarantine for $30, which, at this point, I don’t know what a good price for leggings is. When I put these babies on, it was like I was squeezed — I was elated to feel like these would not fall down. These Amazon black leggings accompany me on almost every run I do! They’ve seen me hit three, four, five and even six miles! Wowza! But, they still get loose as I run and wiggle down my body like a failed hula-hoop contest. So, perhaps, this is a larger problem with how leggings are constructed, or I just didn’t hit the legging-lottery with my bone placement — not the biggest problem in the world, though.
I suppose I write to caution and acknowledge my experience with leggings over the past six years. Whether Lululemon or Amazon, both are probably pretty similar and will somewhat do the job. However, with the Lululemon leggings, you’ll probably be more popular at my high school. I have intentions of buying more in the future and trying a “tighter” fit, and I think that Lululemon leggings probably work really well for some other folks. However, for me, I gotta keep experimenting. To close out, I’d be remiss if I didn’t quote one of my favorite songs. As Lil Jon once said “Get Low,” which I’d like to believe is in reference to my legging fiasco.