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I used to think that repeating affirmations was a really cheesy thing to do. I’ve changed my mind, and you should, too. Let me tell you something I think you need to hear. I’ve been having a lot of trouble with thinking that everyone hates me. I think that the more consumed we are by social media in our technology- based pandemic world, the more insecure we become about ourselves. For me, this transition has been somewhat detrimental, since I’ve always been insecure about myself, with or without the inclusion of social media.
I recently went through my Instagram account and noticed just how many of the people I follow don’t follow me back. The number was high. I know, you can try and call me crazy for taking the time to actually go through my account. But I think that everyone has been obsessive over what others think of them at some point, whether it be by noticing your number of followers go down or by getting weird looks from people walking by.
I’m not embarrassed to admit that I was sad after seeing how many people don’t follow me back. I don’t think I’d usually want to admit this, but I really hope my experience involving self-depreciation will help at least one person out. The most alarming aspect of this whole Instagram journey is that I instantly thought everyone who unfol- lowed me hated me. And while I am certain people hate me, I think it was really bold of me to assume there was such a deep-rooted meaning behind these people’s actions. I didn’t even know some of these followers. Looking back, I find getting upset over something that might not even be true kind of crazy, but at the time I was actually devastated.
Maybe you haven’t been in my shoes. Maybe you really couldn’t care less about who does and doesn’t follow you on Instagram, but that isn’t really the point I am trying to make. My point is, no matter what you see or hear, no one hates you. And you need to get that through your head. Now. And, you might be thinking, “Nope, there are definitely people who hate me.” And yes, there are people who hate you. So many people hate me. I hate people. Hate is inevitable.
But there’s a simple solution.
No one who matters to me in my life has ever made me think that they hate me. Every hurtful, cruel and down- right mean things that has ever been done to me has come from people who I don’t care about. As in, I couldn’t care less about how their life turns out. They mean nothing to me. And I’m going to be honest here. I do not genuinely love more than maybe ten people in this world. Tops. I like a lot of people. I take interest in a lot of people’s lives. But do I need their reassurance? No. The only people I need reassurance from are the people I love. Look, I’m not saying you should start treating unlikeable people like trash, but if you take away the power of someone being able to work their way into your life, they become a nobody.
So, if you let the people you love be the only human beings in your life you see as true, honest people, then no one hates you. So, seriously, no one hates you. If the people who you love don’t hate you (and they don’t) then everyone else is completely irrelevant. I will say, though, that this is not encouragement to treat people with- out kindness. If anything, you should be nicer to people now more than ever. Just don’t be so nice you forget the control you have over your own life. The people who matter are the ones who have your coffee order memorized. They’re the people who make you laugh so hard that you start to feel a sharp pain in your abdomen. They’re the ones who call you because texting just isn’t the same. They’re the people who take the time to throw you a surprise birthday party. They’re the ones who show you love through words, smiles and memories, not by liking your posts.
The biggest illusion in life is thinking that the more people you have in your life, the happier you are. One of the hardest ideas to wrap your head around is that love does not come in equal amounts within each person. Even if I want everyone to like me, that won’t ever happen. As I’m slowly learning more about loving myself, I have learned that my circle of love, though small, will always offer me more endearment, support and surprise birth- day parties than all of my five-hundred- something followers combined.
There are some people I don’t like. There are a lot of people I do like.
There are very few I absolutely love, but they’re the only ones that matter.
If you related to any of what I just said, keep your head up. You are worth more than what any post, tweet, story or snap has to offer. Take a deep breath, look in the mirror and repeat after me:
No one hates you.