What’s on your mind, Piper?

Photo provided by Lauren Kelly.

Pets are such a big part of our lives, but do you ever guess what they are thinking? Each week, I will take a different pet and write their “inner thoughts.”

Hi, my name is Piper, but you can call me Pipey! That’s what they all call me. Nice to meet me, right? Everyone always smiles at me in the car like I am sooo cute, but it’s ok, I know I am. I love being a puppy! I get to run like a pranc- ing deer around the house with my big ears flapping and hump my sisters to show I’m more dominant AND I can do whatever I want because my humans can’t help but love me. I love destroying toys right after my mom gives them to me so I can eat stuffing, yum. And I love to hide treats real sneaky and put them in my bed or dad’s hood thingy or even on the stairs. I’m so small and I don’t like eating. I like eating stuffing and sticks and what my mom calls pipe cones, but I HATE the food. Only the orange pieces for me. Or that food those humans eat. I tease, I tease, I know, but I won’t eat your french fries. I decide to act like humans because I am real smart but I pretend I am a fool. I love my human sister and even that menace she brings who taunts me with that awful air sound and sounds like Chewbacca…he is SO FUN! He makes me go rawrrrrr and sometimes I think he is a dog too! To get him to play I jump and try to hurt his lip again, that’ll show him. My mom and dad bought me a sister Rosie and she is so fun. She left when she was my size and now she is ginormous and lazy! I wish she’d play ball and wrestle and tug of war with me. Sometimes she is the only fun thing in the house. To make it more interesting I like pretending I will come inside like a good dog and as my mom is unhook- ing me I run run run. Chase me chase me! This is so fun. I am pretty sure they love it! Otherwise they sit and do not pay attention to me! That is mean because I am perfect, so I hump their blankies. Or ring my potty bell after every five minutes. They won’t even notice, I bet. I even smartened up and learned if I “acci- dentally” go round bush and get stuck, they have to help me. Life is so fun!!! These humans eat out of my paw. I am a model on mom’s facebook. I just stare at phone and be cute and get treat or toy. Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak- kkkk! So fun but they hate it and I get ball taken away. Another toy destroyed record time, I quickly eat stuffing before taken away. I turn to the wood on house. Mom just think it bone. No it’s not! Rosie help me and we destroy together. Then if we are caught it her fault. All this work to destroy everything, I am finally tired. Once I asleep, I chase so many bunnies but no humans to hold me back. So fun. I wake up whenever the humans move, so I hope my mom bring me to bed so my dad does not make me stay up. But if my human sister home, sleepover! She takes forever for sleep time but at least no cage and we snuggle. My life is clearly rough! When I wake up there is no time to waste. More destroy until tired again, and I sleep the morning away with snuggles from my mom and sometimes even sister or grandmas! And I love walk- ies with mom or grandpas. Rosie always try to walk me, what? She good. Maybe I can run away! Oh and did I mention how much I love giving dad kisses all over his face? He tastes so good. I only do this to him though. I love my family and anyone I have ever met, except for those who will not play with me. They are mean! I hope you love my life, because I cute. Come back and play soon!