Torrin’s take on a weekend without football

Thatcher, Torrin

I can’t remember the last time a weekend went by when I failed to watch any football. Sure, there was a game on Saturday night — the North vs. South college game — but I didn’t waste my time watching a meaningless game like that. That’s like taking time out to watch the NHL All-Star game that was played this past weekend. I didn’t even know the score until I saw the game-winning goal during the “SportsCenter” highlights. But never mind all that. Let’s move on to bigger and better things.
Duke is once again the top-ranked team in the country. They have now been ranked No. 1 more than any other school since 1998. The interesting part is that they’ve only won one championship since then, and that was in 2001 when they had Carlos Boozer, Chris Duhon, Jay Williams, Dahntay Jones, Shane Battier, Mike Dunleavy Jr. and Reggie Love. All but one of these stars are either playing or have played in the NBA. Who is it?
I’ll give a hint to all you people who follow politics. He is President Obama’s personal aide. If you guessed Dahntay Jones, you’d be wrong. It is Reggie Love.
After being a two-sport athlete at Duke and majoring in political science and public policy, he made his way up the ladder and earned a spot in Obama’s office. This just goes to show that even an athlete can make it into the White House. For example, U.K. bookmakers have offered odds of 1,000/1 that Tiger Woods will become president of the United States. But they’ve also given 5,000/1 odds that Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky will marry, so we’ll just have to wait and see about those two.
In other Earth-shattering news, the Yankees have spent more money. They signed Andy Petitte to a one-year deal worth up to $12 million. Umm … this guy earned his highest ERA last year since 1999, and he’ll be 37 years old a few months into the season. I’m guessing the Yankees are hoping he’ll get over his woeful shoulder and pitch like Mike Mussina did last year — I still can’t believe he retired.
That wraps it up for Yankee talk, and if you want to catch more just read Joe Torre’s book due out next week. In the bits released, Alex Rodriguez was reportedly known as “A-Fraud.” You simply have to love that. That’s like calling Kobe “The Black Momma,” Allen Iverson “The Problem” or, my favorite personal creation, Charles Barkley “The Round Mound of Buying Another Round.”
The Yankees payroll is now up to $196.8 million for opening day. To put that into perspective, I’ll throw some numbers at you. “Toy Story” and “Men in Black II” each didn’t make that much money worldwide at the box office. “Gladiator” didn’t hit $190 million and “Million Dollar Baby” made just over $100 million.
So, what I’m trying to say is, take ALL that money that this movie made — which won Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress and Best Supporting Actor, and was adapted by my boy Paul Haggis — and double that, and then you’ll see how much, as of right now, the Yankees are spending next year for men to play with a stick and ball. Kind of seems ridiculous, no?
To wrap this week up, I want to point out a few things. Michael Redd is done for the year with an ACL/MCL injury. Apparently, it was God’s plan for him. God must have decided to put Luke Ridnour’s foot there and take down our leading scorer.
I’ll say it now, and I’ll say it again: The best thing to come out of the University of Oregon in Eugene is Steve Profontaine, for obvious reason. Haloti Ngata, Onterrio “Mr. Whizzinator” Smith and some physics professors of ours can attempt to battle it out for a top spot if they would like. Akili Smith tried to get in contact with me, but he had a hard time staying on his feet and finding me — I tossed him.

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