“Uno!” The gleeful shout filled the small, dimly lit room filled with an assortment of grungy creatures. Snorky’s proud smile lit up his rotting face as he gazed upon his cohorts. The irritation in the room was palpable, and it wasn’t all from Snorky’s Uno. Top Hat, scrooched down in his chair so far that only his beady eyes could be seen glaring across the tabletop, casually drew a revolver and shot Snorky in the head.
Snorky frowned, and scratched his newly hole-adorned head. “Really, Top-Man? You know, just because we can’t die doesn’t mean that ever hurts any less.”
Top Hat sat up in his seat, still glaring. “This buyout situation is gettin’ on my nerves, Snorky.” He looked around the room. “I’m afraid I know what our only option is gonna be. Boys, it may be time to talk to The One.”
The table gulped collectively. Charlie, in gulping, accidentally swallowed his gum, which was disappointing because it was his last piece. He would have to talk to Zander about getting him some more of that minty goodness.
“I know that’s the last place we wanna go, but something needs to be done.” Top Hat shook his head. “Info needs to be had. And I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m not the one who can get it for us this time.”
And so it was that Lucifer’s Angels ambled down to their destiny.
***
Dreams are a funny thing. They usher adventure, and unabashedly torment. They tell us secrets, ones that perhaps we already knew but had forgotten to the raging storm of the waking world. They let us peek, even for a moment, behind the curtain to another strange, warped realm. This creature does not dream, but as the rumblings of an uneasy crowd echoes through the halls and down the stairs and into the dank, moldy basement, a host of scenes fills its head. The voices grow louder as the layers of mold and grime shift, and a pair of dark green eyes flash to life behind slowly lifting lids. It had been so long. A light shines through from above, the first light it had seen in years. Figures clamber down the rickety steps into the darkness. At last, the time of waiting had come to an end.
***
“Is it even there? Did it leave?”
“You just lost the Silent Game, Freddy.” Top Hat smiled grimly. “Now you gotta be the one to go over there and check the Creature Hole for yourself.”
It was true that Freddy had lost the Silent Game, but it was also true that our troublesome troupe had tried to get the attention of this potential presence for about thirty-six minutes now, with no response. Freddy looked at Top Hat, took an additional three minutes to cry, and then crept to the corner of the room. He shivered. He shook. He slowly turned to face his comrades, and uttered, “Nope, no one there! I guess it must have gotten bored.”
Freddy strolled back to the stairs leading back up to the foyer and then stopped, foot hovering over the first step.
Ah, a chilling voice croaked out from Freddy’s mouth. Yes. Zander is the key. The binding calls; the numbers grow. A space of safety needs a desire to stay. The draw of the Space Beyond is a powerful tool. This body… it is weak… the last words echoed through the damp space as Freddy collapsed to the floor.
The gang stood in silence, staring at Freddy’s crumpled form. Top Hat walked over to it and stirred it around a bit with his foot, causing Freddy to let out some snorffly noises and fall deeper into sleep, dreaming sweet dreams of massive waves destroying civilizations. Top Hat squished over Freddy’s body and started up the stairs.
“It’s thinking time.”
Back in the Uno Room, Top Hat reached into a pocket and pulled out a flat, circular object made of some sort of dark fabric. He gave it a shake and a thump and it flapped out with a whumph into a large, velvet top hat. Top Hat placed his Thinking Hat onto his head and began to think.
“Now, I don’t know what The One meant by that message, but what I do know is we need some info on that Zander kid.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know man, his room is locked and everything, that seems pretty tricky.”
The gang snapped their heads around to the sound of this new voice. A smoky spirit was floating in the corner of the room, eyes redder than an apple, but the red kinds of apples, not the ones that are green or yellow.
“Like, this is a real tricky situation. I can’t think of how you’re going to get into that little man’s room.”
“I don’t even know who you are,” Top Hat frowned.
“Oh my bad, my man. Davy is my nametag. Rad to meet you, dude. Sorry to peep in on your secret party scene.”
“That’s a lot of slang in one sentence, Davy,” Top Hat’s frown deepened.
“Oh tubular man, sure as the hair on my toes, that’s the bomb.”
“Davy,” Charlie squinted at the silly spirit. “You’re a ghost. Can’t you pass through walls or something?”
“Woah, you just criss crossed my applesauce fam, that’s a seriously groovy idea. Yeah, I’ll float on in there for you, get some of that gravy.”
Top Hat sighed, “I don’t even know what I’m looking for, let me think a little more first.”
“Oh for sure dude,” Davy nodded, floating out of the room, “Going to get some intel, some fruity pebbles, some pieces of that sweet banana bread. Be right back.”
“Wait, Davy,” Top Hat called out as the last of Davy floated through the wall. “Well, he was no help at all. I gotta turn up the power.” He pulled out another top hat from his pocket and placed it atop the first one. “Now we can really get cracking.
Several bouts of thinking with intermittent yelling later, a groovy presence floated back through the wall.
“What’s poppin, buckos? Man, I’m craving the flower more than ever. The amount of bud that little man’s got stashed away in there… What I would give for a pair of working lungs again. The equipment in that room is wild, too. Some state-of-the-art music tech in there, although I have to say, it made my ears pretty mad. Not groovy stuff. Oh and bro’s got a whole wheel of parmesan rolling around in there too. Man must have some sort of cheese addiction the way he munches on that cheddar, there’s brie and swiss stacked to the ceiling.”
Top Hat’s eyes widened. “Cheese, you say? I’ve always wondered what sort of entity that boy is, he must be some sort of Mouse Man.” He pushed his hats further down onto his head. “Snorky, don’t you have all that smoked gouda from the circus that rolled through a couple years back?”
“Sure do boss, and by now it’ll be extra aged!”
Top Hat grinned, showing rows of rotten teeth. “I’m smelling a trap in the works, boys.”