Obviously, I’m not advocating taking the steps it would involve to actually become a grandmother, especially not in the midst of trying to obtain a college education. I’m not advocating anything. I just want to offer some comfort if you, like me, are often accused of being a senior citizen.
For example: Friday night rolls around and the usual buzz of excitement is in the air. It seems to titillate all those around you. Girls seem frenzied. Boys become louder. Music blares down the hallway.
You wish you could join in the excitement, but your senses are dulled. It’s like your heart rate was raised one too many times this week during the usual stress of classes, getting to work, going to meetings, studying, etc. You just can’t make that heart beat faster one more time. You might go into cardiac arrest.
So you take the easier option — a movie, a cup of tea, a good friend. If you were allowed a kitten, you would let it sit on your lap and join in your relaxing evening as well.
You don’t bother changing out of your current outfit into “going out” clothes. In fact, you don the most bedraggled night gown that you own and curl up in bed by 10:30, ready to rise early the next day.
If this scenario sounds familiar to you, you are suffering from Grandma Syndrome. It’s ok, you know — don’t worry about it. You are certainly not alone.
I’ve been a sufferer since about third term of my sophomore year. Do I wish I still had the same zing that I had freshman year? Yeah, all the time, but there’s something so comforting in my Grandma routine.
The thrill of baking cookies for friends or adding Sprite to my glass of wine so that I don’t get too drunk just sounds so damn appealing to me now rather than going to parties. Don’t get me wrong. Everyone feels like staying home every once in a while. For me, it’s a chronic condition. I suffer from chronic Grandma.
If you are at all like me, perhaps we could hang out and talk about our Grandma-ness. We could get together and knit or something. Or maybe not. Knowing me and knowing you, we will both probably want to stay at home.