Romance According to Kate

Kate Ostler

(Brent Schwert)

Dear Kate,
Last night was doubles selection in Riverview, and with this year’s new policy on gender-neutral housing my girlfriend and I had the chance to live together. We didn’t use it. Do you think this is wise, or should we have given it a shot?
-Singled Out and Doubled UpDear Singled,
I think you guys made the right choice. While I’m positive that gender-neutral housing will make more pleasant the living situations for many people on campus, I’m not sure that this would be the case for all couples.
The program has been instituted in order to provide more housing options for transgender students and students whose preferred roommates are of the opposite sex, regardless of whether or not the two are linked romantically. In order to both dish out some advice and personally appeal to Amy Uecke for another single upon my return to campus next January, I’ll reflect upon the single I “gained” during my freshman year, largely in part to driving my roommate so insane that she couldn’t stand me anymore. Seriously though, I don’t think that our disagreements or eventual separation stemmed from our differences, but rather from our similarities. We spent so much time together during those first few months here that we ended up getting sick of one another. I would imagine that the same holds true for many people in romantic relationships, expecting a shared room to bring them closer together. I think you’ve avoided a lot of trouble by opting out of living together next year.

Dear Kate,
I recently started seeing someone, but with summer quickly approaching I’m not sure if we should stay together. It doesn’t look like we’ll get to see much of each other over break. What should I tell him?
-Vexed about Vacation

Dear Vexed,
I don’t doubt that you’re really into this guy, but just the fact that you’re considering breaking up for vacation leads me to believe that you want some time to yourself this summer. Maybe the best thing for you to do is take some time off and rekindle your love affair in the fall. For many of us, summer brings with it feelings of freedom and limited responsibility, and you might feel like being in a relationship is going to cramp your style.
If you decide to call it quits for now, make sure you let this guy know that you’ve got some stuff to think over and don’t want to feel too tied down this summer. Be certain that he understands how much you care for him, and explain thoroughly your reasons for going solo. Don’t forget to tell him, after all, that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that you’ll see him again in the fall.

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