Several residents of the Outdoor Recreation Club House were rendered practically homeless Thursday night after a capacity inspection by Campus Security.
House members report that they were gathered in the living room engaged in their weekly knot-tying circle when security entered the building at 7:30 p.m.
“The danger of this overpopulated room was immediately apparent to us,” said an anonymous security staff member.
Nine students were participating in the circle, while Will Daniels was found in the kitchen filling his Nalgene with water.
“We had no choice but to prevent them from endangering themselves any longer,” Security added. “What if there had been a fire? They should have been using fire-retardant rope.”
Since the ORC living room has a capacity of five persons, Campus Security immediately ordered four of the knot-tiers to vacate the building.
“It came as a surprise to all of us,” said house member Pat Breese. “But it was no big deal. We pitched a tent on the front lawn.”
Breese continued, “It worked out well, though — we were able to host our s’more-making sessions earlier than we expected. At least 20 people showed up to our lawn shindig. ORC always throws the best parties.”
Later that night, security returned and evicted all but two students from the lawn, reminding the ORC members that the lawn capacity is two persons.
Breese and housemate Mitchell Goodman were forced to sleep on the quad green, which has no known capacity regulations.