LUCC to have president in 2008

Oliver Klozoff

In a surprise move, LUCC members ratified a resolution to have a president in 2008.
“We’ve been tossing this around a lot recently,” said LUCC representative Jeff Solberg, “and we’re pretty sure we’ll be ready to have another president next year.”
“This is a big step. We’ll need the intervening year to get ready,” added representative Dan Martin.
This move comes on the heels of nearly two years of LUCC functioning without a president.
“I’m not sure that it’s held us back,” said representative James Duncan-Welke of the vacant position. “I’m not entirely sure what he or she would do. Hypothetically.”
Record-low voter turnout in recent LUCC elections has been one of many obstacles to having an LUCC president in recent years.
“If the president isn’t going to get at least 30 percent of the students to vote, it doesn’t really seem worth having one, does it?” said government professor Steven Wulf.
Also under discussion is a proposal to reinstate the position of LUCC Vice President, which recently unearthed documents indicate may have existed in antiquity.
To prepare for the reinstatement of the two highest positions in LUCC, LUCC members have been attempting to raise awareness of the position among the study body.
These awareness-raising tactics include a poster campaign entitled, “Why not have a president this year?”, a set of pamphlets advocating the existence of a president, and personalized begging.
“Just remember, past successful presidents have often used things like plans and agendas to maximize their efficacy,” LUCC representative Kenny Alvord shouted at potentially presidential passers-by.
“It doesn’t have to be much! Maybe just some kind of plan to address an issue, or something. Hey, you, slow down! Hey!

Top