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dan meyer

admin·
Opinions & Editorials
·March 1, 2019

Sorry, but Fruit Gushers are water now

As someone who gets bullied by teens on a regular basis, I am keyed in to the hip youthful trends...
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admin·
Opinions & Editorials
·February 15, 2019

You are not smarter than a banana

Hello, you miscreant spreaders of turpitude on Appleton’s turpitudinest campus. I hope you all are having a fine term. College...
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admin·
Opinions & Editorials
·February 1, 2019

Gather ‘round, children, it is time to eat Kirby

Hey kiddo! Having a good winter? Find any more birds in the snow like you did last spring? Take a...
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admin·
Opinions & Editorials
·January 18, 2019

Your potatoes make me sad

Sweet potatoes! Ye orange beacons shining forth from the shadowy memories of Thanksgiving, ye starchy suitors after my own heart...
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admin·
Opinions & Editorials
·November 9, 2018

Disney makes your post-apocalyptic snacks

Change is scary, especially when you find yourself moving from the world you knew into an unfamiliar hellscape of droughts,...
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admin·
Opinions & Editorials
·February 22, 2019

I am the future of babysitting

Although it rarely receives accolades as a national pastime and treasure, babysitting is as American as hot dogs, graphic tees...
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admin·
Opinions & Editorials
·February 9, 2019

When I die, respect my body

The last week of freezing temperatures has inspired me to revel in my own mortality, even more than the slate...
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admin·
Opinions & Editorials
·January 25, 2019

Mole-people food is the next big thing

Hey, everyone. Dan here. I went on a week-long sabbatical to realign my scapulae after they entered their rebellious phase...
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admin·
Opinions & Editorials
·January 11, 2019

I demand a Shame Cubicle

The blank canvas of a six-week winter break can be intimidating for even the most super of seniors, and I...
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admin·
Opinions & Editorials
·November 2, 2018

You dine like a coward

Most of the time, I try to be understanding of other people. I realize that everyone is raised with different...
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The Latest

  • Junior Faith Onukaogu wins The Pitch
    by Madeline Forman
    May 30, 2025
  • Lawrence hosts annual Unity Fest with cultural performances and events
    by Evan Portzline
    May 30, 2025
  • Out Fitting! but it’s brat
    by Lizzy Pantoga-Montoto
    May 30, 2025
  • Double it and give it to the next person: Should drivers be allowed to compete in the Indy 500 and Coca Cola 600?
    by Benjamin Hoppe
    May 30, 2025

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The opinions expressed in The Lawrentian are those of the students, faculty and community members who wrote them. The Lawrentian does not endorse any opinions piece except for the staff editorial, which represents a majority of the editorial board. The Lawrentian welcomes everyone to submit their own opinions using the parameters outlined in the editorial policy.

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