Senior throwers from the Track and Field Team: Laurel Benson, Chelsea Fickbohm, Stephanie Kramer and Genna Thompson1. Why is throwing the best event on the track team?
Laurel: You laugh harder and seem to have more fun that any other event. the jokes are priceless!
Genna: Throwing is definitely the best part because we get to make inappropriate jokes — really, really inappropriate jokes. For the sake of censoring, I will not repeat them here. Just know that lots of jokes about balls are thrown around. no pun intended.
Chelsea: Well, and throwing is the best part about track because it doesn’t involve running!
2. If you could throw anything besides your object, what would it be and why?
Genna: I would throw my old laptop that crashed. piece of shit. It would involve a brick wall and a river. I am sure that there are people out there who would be willing to donate old computers to support the cause.
Laurel: I wouldn’t go that extreme. Just my organic chemistry book from last year. That thing deserves to be thrown around repeatedly.
Chelsea: I kind of like throwing my object: a big metal spear. But I think adding targets would be so much more fun.
Stephanie: I agree with Chelsea on the targets. We would enjoy throwing our own events even more if there were various targets out in the field — some worth more points than others. Otherwise, throwing broken computers or broken and frustrating items in general into the river is also a grand idea!
3. If you all were going to race, who would win?
Genna: Chelsea would win because she is the fastest. Laurel would win because she would beat everyone up at the starting line. I might win because I would crack some jokes at the line and people would fall over laughing. And Kramer would win because she would cut them off at the pass and throw her crazy basketball elbows.
Laurel: Sounds accurate. I don’t know if I would beat people up though.
Stephanie: If we were going to race dependent purely on speed, Chelsea would win. However, Laurel would make it a more physical competition and possibly start plowing us down at the finish line. I would assuredly pull some sort of shenanigans to ensure a victory, while Genna may just bust out some sweet moves or jokes and make everyone else fall down laughing as she skips to victory.
Chelsea: Who would win a race? That doesn’t really matter since we all do the “thrower’s relay” — a.k.a “the fat man’s relay” — and anyway, we are all lightning fast.
4. What will you miss most about LU Track?
Genna: The people. Great times were had, for sure.
Laurel: I will definitely miss the people. so many fun memories.
Chelsea: Oh, definitely the spandex shorts will be most missed. And the too-small track tops. And of course, A-skips!