You want to know what I think? Our student body is far too divided, as represented by the outrageous choices in clothing I have seen people wear around campus. If students cannot be trusted to dress themselves suitably, then a uniform must be implemented. The time has come for a streamlined uniform that everyone here at Lawrence University can get behind. Beyond the sheer ignorance for fashion I have seen people display here on campus, we are, more importantly, drifting apart as a population. To fix both the fashion faux-pas and this divide, a school uniform should be enforced. It is time for something classy yet playful. Something flashy, but not over the top. As a leader in hot takes and unexpected op-eds, I propose the new school uniform for Lawrence University students.
Lawrence’s student body has been at odds with itself for decades. As a school that boasts both a formidable college in addition to its impressive conservatory, it is only natural that a rift would begin to form between these college students and conservatory students. It is up to us, as students of a united university, to work together on bridging this gap. I am doing my part by introducing Lawrence University’s school uniform.
Besides streamlining the student body at Lawrence, these uniforms would do so much more for our school, ultimately fostering a more practical and positive environment. First of all, Barbie’s high heels prove extremely practical for everyday wear. High heels promote building muscular calves as well as strengthening pelvic floor muscles. Both Barbie and Ken’s bright colors will help prevent you from falling asleep during class, keep you safe while crossing the street and overall promote happier interactions with people. Even Barbie’s long hair comes with benefits. Her long hair can double as a scarf during those cold Wisconsin winters, and you can even reenact Lady Godiva’s legendary horseback outing.